Cletus and Zeke were spraying kudzu around Clemson, South Carolina.
They had gotten into the habit of eating at college bars when there was one nearby. Food could be had cheaply Monday-through-Thursday if you stuck to simple foods like baskets of fries, chili and draft beer.
Cletus picked a table near the back while Zeke placed the order. A minute later Zeke came back to the table with a couple of drafts.
A coed was dancing on the table next to the one Cletus had picked. She might have been cute if you had a fetish for dimples. The drawback was that she had dimples in places where most girls did not have places.
She compensated for her excessive avoirdupois with a frenzied shaking of her assets, undoubtedly fueled by the now empty shot-glasses that littered the floor.
Sitting down, Zeke drained his stein of beer in a single go. Then he opined, "FABULOUS legs!!!"
The young lady favored Zeke with a big smile. "Ya think?" she said in her southern drawl.
"Damned straight." Zeke said with fervor. "Most tables would have been busted into a thousand pieces by now."
And that is probably why Zeke and Cletus never ate at the same bar twice.