Friday, July 17, 2020

Fake News Friday: Redskin Potatoes now racist

Potato farmers in Washington State face bankruptcy as consumers turn away from Washington grown Redskinned potatoes.

"I have never seen anything like this!" Farmer Spud Solanum exclaimed. "It happened over night. One week we were selling all of the low-carb, Paleo-friendly redskin potatoes we could take to market and this week we have protestors stopping our trucks to prevent us from taking them to market."

Spud remains optimistic. "The protestors have the attention span of gnats. We will rebrand and come back, better than before." He is confident that potato farmers will land on their feet. "Farmers are the world's greatest 'Tomorrow will be better' people."

Spud already has new bags printed up: "So Socialist, even our potatoes are red" while potatoes marketed in conservative areas have a recipe sheet showing how to cut potatoes to make small MAGA hats before oven-roasting.


  1. I bought some red potatoes that were getting ready to sprout at the grocery store to raise as "new potatoes". Since I planted them in Green five gallon buckets does that negate the racist aspects? Maybe even celebrate "the original conservationists" narrative? ---ken

  2. Verily, everything is racist now. The Dems and Progressives have decided that race is an entity's sole defining characteristic and the most vital issue of the day - and will accept no substitutes.

  3. When everything is racist, nothing is racist.

  4. Redskins are low carb ? Who knew ?

    1. Most red-skinned potatoes have low specific gravity, a measure of the amount of starch in them.

      That is one reason why red-skins are preferred for boiling and potato salad. The lower starch levels take on less water an they don't explode.

      Conversely, they are less desirable for frying and baking. They are "waxy" rather than "dry" or "fluffy".

      They are absolutely useless for potato chips.

      As potatoes go, red-skinned potatoes are lower carb as a class than russets and "chipping" potatoes.


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