Friday, July 17, 2020
Fake News Friday: Redskin Potatoes now racist
Potato farmers in Washington State face bankruptcy as consumers turn away from Washington grown Redskinned potatoes.
"I have never seen anything like this!" Farmer Spud Solanum exclaimed. "It happened over night. One week we were selling all of the low-carb, Paleo-friendly redskin potatoes we could take to market and this week we have protestors stopping our trucks to prevent us from taking them to market."
Spud remains optimistic. "The protestors have the attention span of gnats. We will rebrand and come back, better than before." He is confident that potato farmers will land on their feet. "Farmers are the world's greatest 'Tomorrow will be better' people."
Spud already has new bags printed up: "So Socialist, even our potatoes are red" while potatoes marketed in conservative areas have a recipe sheet showing how to cut potatoes to make small MAGA hats before oven-roasting.