Friday, July 24, 2020
Fake News Friday: Johnny Depp throws hat in ring for POTUS
In a surprise announcement, Johnny Depp filed to run for President as head of the newly formed Jolly Roger ticket.
"I mean, why not?" Depp told reporters breathlessly covering his candidacy announcement. "I hate Trump. Everybody who hates Trump should vote for me."
"My publicist told me, just after we opened another bottle of rum, that I had 14.7 times the name recognition of that guy sitting in his wife's basement in Philly or Jersey or wherever he is" Depp claimed.
Turning to his aide, Depp was picked up on a hot mic asking "What the hell is that guy's name?"
Asked for the elements of his platform other than hating Trump, Depp rambled a bit.
"I believe in a Kracken in every pot. I believe in weed and good booze and I believe that hating America is not a disqualifier for the office. Heck, I can name a lot of politicians who clearly hate America" Depp claimed.
Furthermore, Depp claimed "Who better to be a politician than an actor. We had Ray-gun. We had Trump. Actors are trained to be convincing liars. That is what politicians do, we lie."
"And the best thing is that I can pardon myself!"
Remember, you read it on the Eaton Rapids Joe blog first!