Twice in twenty-four hours

Mrs ERJ saved me twice in twenty-four hours. Not just from little gaffes, but she pulled the whole pound of bacon off the coals both times.

Looks nice.

I was getting ready to perform Test 1.0 when Mrs ERJ asked "Don't you need this part?"

It was the wax-ring.

I grumbled while I pulled it apart. Sure as heck, no wax-ring. I also had left the disposable, plastic grocery bags stuffed in the hole to prevent odors from escaping.

That would have been exciting: flushing the toilet with no wax ring and the soil pipe plugged.

Thanks sweet-heart.

Thanks to her, my name and image are once again engraved in the Hall-of-Heroes.

The other time she saved me was last night after Belladonna plopped into one of the easy-chairs in the living room and asked "Do you think I am fat or skinny?"

Gulping like a guppy out-of-water, I locked up.

Then Mrs ERJ to the rescue.

"IT IS FORBIDDEN!" she rasped out.

Then her body quivered in a spasm. "IT IS FORBIDDEN!!!" she repeated.

"What? What is forbidden?" Bella asked, alarmed.

"IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR YOUR FATHER TO TALK ABOUT YOUR BODY! IT IS NOT ALLOWED OR...DEATH SHALL BE UPON HIS HEAD!!!"

More spasms. Then the sound of panting.

Bella fled the room.

"Thanks honey. I was in a tight spot there" I said.

Mrs ERJ's eyes focused. "I am sorry. I sort of zoned out there. Was that Bella? I wonder if I am getting Covid...I am out-of-breath."

Sometimes that girl freaks me out. Mrs ERJ, not Bella.