Monday, October 26, 2020

Romance in times of war and chaos

My operating hypothesis, one I have not used personally since I met Mrs ERJ, is that people have periods when they are receptive to new romantic encounters and periods when they are much less receptive.

It is like the pistil of a flower. It is receptive to pollen when it is sticky. I like that word "sticky".

You could ride a bus with a young lady for three years and she might be resistant to your suggestions of a date because she is not sticky. Or, she might break up with her boyfriend and be very sticky. Or, perhaps she graduates with her degree or lands a job that allows her to stop working her second job...maybe that makes her sticky.

The thing about "sticky" is that most normal, healthy people will not stay sticky for long. Somebody will pass within their orbit and make him/her unsticky.

I used this theory to explain to Belladonna why eligible guys seem scarce for her right now. She is on a mission and a "guy" would be a part-time distraction. When she is ready, when she is sticky, the guys will be all around her like bees around the horseradish when it is blooming.

She did not believe me, nor did she care to be compared with horseradish. It is tough to be one of my kids.

Evolutionary biologists would speculate that war and chaos are likely to make some personalities more sticky. The species must reproduce.

War and chaos increase mortality rates and decrease the time viable candidates are within that orbit.

That war-time bride who was so attractive in the war-zone sometimes does not work out after things normalize.

I would love to hear the opinions of my readers.


  1. And also war decreases the availability of young men so the competition among young women gets intense and they become less discerning about who they try to stick to. Often to their regret. I saw this a lot in my parents WW II generation.--ken

  2. "It is tough to be one of my kids. "

    I resemble that statement. Your position has proven true in my life. When I was in the hunt for a girlfriend, I likely gave off antithetical sticky. But when I was busy, head down, cranking out life (work, school), available girls seemed everywhere.
    Finally, convinced I was not the marrying type, God dropped a stunning young lady into my life. I even fought against dating her, wielding geography and "pursuing our careers is priority". Failed...married that hot young thing 20 years ago last month.
    I don't know who first coined this, but I heard it at church some years ago. Pursue what you are designed to pursue. One day you'll look up and see who's running the race with you, and that will be the start of the connection. I'd say that is when you'd enter the Sticky Phase.

  3. There are indeed many factors that determine the receptivity of ladies to their suitors (be they wannabe suitors or real suitors).

    The "stickiness" of ladies is generally telegraphed with pheremones and body language cues.

    Often, women drive away suitors by their body language and other cues wherein they fail to encourage a guy to present himself.

  4. That penultimate paragraph cost me over a million bucks and ruined my life for years.


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