You can only imagine my disappointment.
Jerry's sister finally condescended to take me to a local Kinkos outlet.
I looked everywhere but was unable to find so much as a single ostrich feather.
Rubber chickens, whips, chains, manacles and cattle prods were also impossible to find.
Undoubtedly due to a combination of supply-chain issues from China and extreme demand by those East Coast elites.
Let the buyer beware: Kinkos does not live up to its name regardless of what Kamala Harris implies.