Hey, Cuomo...

An old man died. His dog laid down next to him and died also.

They were standing on a dusty road through the clouds when they awoke. They were standing near massive gates encrusted with gold and pearls and other precious gems.  A sign next to the gates read "Herein lies Heaven. Absolutely no dogs allowed."

Looking at the sign, the man shook his head in dismay. He didn't enter but started walking down the road with his dog. 

Rounding a corner they saw another set of gates. The posts were old and sun-rotted. The writing on the sign had faded to the point where it was unreadable. An old, bearded man in a cowboy hat was emptying a bucket into a water trough beside the gate. 

The man realized that he was extremely thirsty and his dog's tongue was dragging on the ground. 

"Excuse me,…" he said.

"Peter."

"Peter, what are these gates?"

"These lead to heaven."

"And what were those?" the man asked, pointing back up the road.

"Oh, those were to hell, we don't tolerate f____rs who abandon friends here"