Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Smartphone on a Shelf

I misplace my smartphone on a regular basis.

I rarely had the problem with my flip phone. It was smooth and compact and rugged. It slipped easily into any pants pocket.

My smartphone is much larger and chunkier. It leaps out of a shirt pocket like a freshly caught steelhead. I fear for it longevity when in a pants pocket. Some of my outdoor pursuits are not gentle.

Mrs ERJ thinks my losing the phone is Freudian. She thinks I don't like my phone.

She might be right.

This week we started playing smartphone-on-a-shelf instead of elf-on-a-shelf. No, I don't get to leave it there.

"Zeus. Phone!" I command. Then I wait for Zeus to find my phone.

(spoiler, it has peanut butter smeared on the case)

After finding the phone, Zeus gets accolades and another large, peanut butter smeared treat.

A hungry dog has an IQ that is 50% higher than a full dog.

As time goes on the hiding places will get harder and the amount of PB smeared on the case will shrink to zero.

While he enjoys the treats he hasn't quite thrown himself into the spirit of the game.

I don't think he likes smartphones, either.


  1. Smart phones are notoriously fragile. I break a couple or 3 every year.
    And Atticus (my last German Shepherd) chewed one to pieces because my wife ignored him while surfing the internet...
    Flip phones are durable like an old work truck and just as inflexible.

  2. I still have my old flip phone. Buy $100.00 of call time every fall and don't even use 1/2 of it. It stays in my truck turned off and only gets turned on when I'm expecting a call or I want to call someone. That is all the contact I want with a cell phone. ---ken

    1. We had Samsung Convoy 3 flip phones but they were not 4G capable so we were forced out of them.

      I got the replacement flip phones for 4G but it was flimsy and Belladonna shamed me into a smartphone.

  3. A smart phone is basically a hand held computer that you can use to make phone calls.

    My first cell phone was a Motorola that could clip on your belt. Running an excavator one day, I couldn't find my phone. After frantically searching for it, finally found the thing in the trail, where the track had run over it a few times and smashed into the mud.

    Thankfully it was a small machine and the tracks were made of rubber instead of steel because when I tried the phone out of the mud and gingerly wiped it off, the dang phone still worked. (Motorola made tough phones back then.) My next phone after that was flip phone I could stick in my pocket.

  4. I save quite a bit of money on cell phones. How ? I do not have one. Unimaginable ? Actually I like living in the past. Due to Covid restrictions on public gatherings, I am staying home most of the time. If you know my unlisted number, you can call me. If I want to talk to you, I will pick up my land line phone. Otherwise, you can leave a message. I may choose to call you back, maybe not. I like living in the past. My bill for internet and landline telephone is about $75 . I like that.

  5. LOL, great idea, now if he'd just chew it up... LOL Re flip phones, I LOVED my old Motorola Star Tac. It worked!!!