Looking for a woman as ugly as a mud-fence, meaner than a snake, more stubborn than a mule and who doesn't have any kids who want anything to do with her.
Must not have any close neighbors. Ideally, she owns 60,000 acres on the Belle Fourche river.
Must tolerate a man who farts, spits, cusses, drinks, chews, smokes, sweats, plays cards, likes to look (but only look) at pretty women and loves dogs.
Vegans need not apply.
Send picture of dogs.