Wednesday, December 27, 2023

There comes a time in every man's life when...

There comes a time in every man's life when he comes to a fork in the road and must either choose to do something irrational or turn in his "man-card".

I am contemplating how I will celebrate my 65th birthday.

I recently saw where somebody celebrated their 35th birthday by walking 35 miles.

I am pretty sure that I am not physically capable of walking 65 miles in one day.

Even 65 "metric-miles" (i.e. klicks) is a bit of a stretch. My longest "walk" in one day was 26 miles and 65k is 39 miles. At my normal walking speed of 2.7mph, I need at least 14.5 hours of daylight to get-it-done.

I suppose I could bike that far if I worked up to it.

Given that everything takes longer now that I am older, it might be appropriate to walk 65 miles over the course of a week. That seems do-able at this point (Shut-up, knees. I am not talking to you).

Logistically, it would be easiest to walk outbound 8.125 miles and turn around and walk back on four separate days. But that lacks the swashbuckling, grand-gesture that a landmark birthday like my 65th cries screams for. If this was about logistical efficiency I would do it on a treadmill!

A more symbolically satisfying option would be to walk 16.25 miles in each of the cardinal directions on four separate days. Starting from the Eaton Rapids Quality Dairy, that would put me at the Horrock's on M-43 (North), the Dansville State Game Area Shooting Range (East), Bur Oak Golf Club (South) and Olivet College (mostly West). I may have to add a few miles here-and-there to make the goal.

I anticipate carrying a day-pack with 4 liters of water and another 7-or-8 pounds of comfort items.

Another option would be to pick a stretch of the North Country Trail to walk. The downside is that most of the trail that is closest to me involves walking beside narrow, paved, country, two-lane roads with traffic whipping by at 60 mph. Not my cup of tea and the logistics are much harder than parking in Eaton Rapids and starting to walk.

I have a few months to think about it and to work up to it. On the up-side, if I think of it as my mid-life crisis then it means I should live to 130. Any opinions from my readers?


  1. Maybe something involving bodyweight deadlift reps combined with walking?

  2. You might want to consider the 5o Mile Challenge. I'm 73 and I'm considering tackling that myself this summer.

    1. I don't know. It is not like JFK, Teddy or RFK lived very long. Not what you would call a rousing recommendation.

      Although I will spot you the fact that JFK and RFK's demise probably did not involve their level of physical fitness.

  3. Whatever you choose to do Have A Happy Birthday !!! ---ken

  4. Forget the walk --
    Have a real man's mid-life crisis
    And buy yourself a Porshe
    The drive the 65 miles !!

    1. I worked with a guy who planned to buy a Corvette for his 45th. Took it on a test drive and left the road (Moores River Drive) at a high rate of speed. He was driving with the window open. His head impinged upon a landscaping feature, a retaining wall faced with limestone.

      Visualize a cheese-grater.

      Dave didn't survive.

      Nope, I will stick to walking and pickup trucks. Thank-you very much.

  5. Replies
    1. I could probably do 65 pushups in one week.

      What? You mean all in one go?

      Oh, my!

  6. You could split 65 pieces of wood, go to the range and hit a specific target 65 times, or choose another activity you can do 65 times.

  7. Fred in Texas
    Ok... Now that I've stopped giggling at the notion of celebrating with exercise... If you're serious about celebrating with a one day workout, how about splitting 65 firewood logs, or driving 65 T posts. Or a 65 foot fence.
    Personally I'd recommend 65 shrimp or 65 chicken wings. If that violates your diet then go fishing with 65 minnows and don't come back till they're gone. Or have a party and tell your friends that you want to shoot 65 guns in one day so bring their guns. Lots of them. While I applaud your desire to celebrate in a healthy way, I beseech you to celebrate in fashion that your loved ones can observe or enjoy with you. That's all I got brotha.

  8. Always be gentle and kind……to your hips and knees. As we age we gradually give up some of our favourite activities: pole vaulting, wide receiving, snow boarding. Instead we learn to enjoy just hiking, walking, cycling, fishing, canoeing. Then eventually comes the E-bike and the electric boat motor. The last thing to go will be my vegetable gardening. And the best news is that it’s only temporary.

  9. What about 65 laps ? Swimming in a pool or jogging around a track. Or 65 stadium lap climbs. Followed by a celebratory shot of cognac for approaching year

  10. 65 prescient and important things posted to your blog about which you are most thankful for having learned in this sweet short life.

    Share your wisdom and your gratitude gained from the time when you were just a new shaver until now at 65 yrs old.

    Reach all the way back to your first shave and new hair on your arse.

    65 each must have nuggets of wisdom for young men about to shave for the first time…heading into times like these.

  11. How about giving 65 hours of your time to a deserving family/charity/cause?

  12. How about a 6.5 caliber something for your birthday( you get to go down the rabbit hole of which one is the best). Happy birthday from
    Grumpy Old Macdonald

    1. That is a great idea. But I am more inclined to purchase something that would take 9.4 years off my age.

  13. Eat 65 cupcakes. Take a 65-minute nap. Plant 65 trees. Walk 65 minutes a day. Eat 65 eggs in 65 minutes. Get your 65 birthday spankings from the Mrs.
    Write your will. Write your own obituary. Write your funeral service.
    Don't buy green bananas! Don't buy puppies! Don't read the obits!
    Ask your kids if they want anything you have (good chance they do not) and give it to them but store it at your house for them. Try to declutter the rest.

  14. How about hiking. You can do 65 miles in a year. I’m 72 and I hike more than that in a couple of months. You can do it.

  15. 65 more chapters of your awesome short stories.
    As I approach 67 I have realized that I cannot do the things I did even 5 years ago.
    We purchased an RV and went from Alabama to Canada and made the loop around some of the Great lakes, we went to China before COVID.
    Do something you have on the bucket list while you still can.

  16. 65 beers over a reasonable amount of time?

  17. Plant 65 tree seedlings. you could start them in pots and then transplant them later while keeping a log/map of where they are and have a living monument to your celebrating 65 years of life.

  18. I celebrated 60 by purchasing hydraulics. (a dump trailer). I intend to do the same at 65 in a couple months.

  19. Write 60 letters of recommendation or encouragement. You can even number them (4 of 60). For your kids, grand kids, nieces, nephews... Then hike 5 miles with a left handed coffee cup to balance out the increased forearm strength.

    Learn a new instrument. (I'm working on a Stratyvarious concert kazoo at the moment. Quality construction yields superb sound.)

    Thank you for passing along your unique take on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

  20. ERJ - Maybe take up a new hobby that you have always thought of but never tried?

    My vote is as Rob suggested above, 65 miles over a set period of time - maybe your birthday month ending on your birthday?


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