ERJ sources placed deeply in the White House report that Trump and Democrats reached an agreement regarding the caravan of Central Americans heading toward the US border. This agreement was reached just in time for both sides to claim victory for the mid-term elections.
President Trump will authorize the military to crop-dust the caravan with tacky, non-toxic, polymer-based adhesives and then to follow-up by bombing them with glitter.
Undocumented migrants entering Texas will be identified by gold glitter while California migrants will be identified with rainbow colored glitter and My Little Pony decals.
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