Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Ron A. Mock

So there I was, minding my own business watching a soccer game when I noticed a mother approaching Mitch and giving him a piece of her mind.

After politely listening for a minute, Mitch reached into his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her.

She read it for a minute and then threw the piece of paper on the ground and left the area-of-operation at a high rate of speed.

Mitch is, well, mellow. His 14-year-old son Ronnie will probably end up driving for NASCAR because he likes to lean into the guardrails. He is what the Professionals call, "emotional regulation challenged." But for all that, Mitch is mellow.

I sidled over to him. I write a blog and am always on the lookout for easy stories to steal.

"What was that all about?" I asked. I may, or may not have changed names to protect privacy. Just sayin'.

"Aw, she just wanted to give me some parenting advice." Mitch said.

Knowing Mitch's son, I have to imagine it was not the first time it had happened.

"How did you get her to stop flapping her jaws?" I asked.

"I gave her some paperwork to fill out. I told her I was more than happy to let her test her theories on my son but I needed to have her sign a Waiver of Responsibility first." Mitch said with a grin.

I sped read the document and this is what it said, to the best of my remembering:

Waiver of Responsibility:

First, thank-you for volunteering to help us improve our parenting skills.

Second, research tells us that parenting techniques cannot be assessed in less than two weeks of very consistent application. We expect you to return him with all of his poor behaviors completely "extincted".

___print name legibly___ do hereby accept all responsibility for minor foster child Ron A. Mock for a period of two weeks. I understand that I and the other adults in my household are fully responsible for Ron A. Mock’s behaviors during that two week period and release legal foster parent from all responsibility, including but not limited to, for damages (physical, emotional, financial and other) caused by fire, flooding, toxins, irritants, feces, urine, wanton destruction, directed destruction, accelerated depreciation, loss in resale value, broken furniture, glass, drywall and appliances.

I _____initial____ hereby release the legal foster parents from responsibility for any damages caused by physical assault, including but not limited to lacerations, contusions, punctures wounds (deep and shallow), fractured bones (simple, compound, green-stick), ruptured organs, loose and missing teeth. I accept responsibility for the consequences of aforementioned physical assault whether the damages are to me, other adults, my children (both younger, same-age and older) or to other people who do not live in my home. This release only applies to the two weeks Ron A. Mock resides with me.

_____initial____ understand that I am also legally liable for any sexual predation Ron A. Mock may engage in as he acts out childhood experiences. I understand that by signing this document and initially this paragraph I acknowledge full knowledge of this risk and cannot shift it to the legal foster parents.

_____initial____ understand that I am also legally liable for any damages that Ron A. Mock may incur if he finds my car keys and takes my vehicle joy-riding. Parenthetical note: You may want to inform your auto insurance carrier and purchase a rider.

_____initial____ understand that I am also legally responsible for any illegal drugs found in my house regardless of whether they were brought into my house by myself or others.

_____initial____ understand that I am legally responsible to get Ron A. Mock to his three, weekly, random urine drops and his scheduled counseling sessions on the other side of town. I understand that I have 60 minutes to get Ron A. Mock to his urine drops and will be financially liable for the counseling bill if Ron either chooses to not attend or cannot be found at the time of the appointment.

Signature/Date Witness One __________________
Signature/Date Witness Two __________________
Signature/Date Adult#1 in home_______________
Signature/Date Adult#2 in home_______________
Signature/Date Adult#3 in home_______________

 "I didn't know Ron was a foster child." I said.

"He isn't." Mitch said. "But they don't know that." he said, looking at the woman who had distanced herself from Mitch.


  1. I wish we had thought of something like that when we were raising our three. We were foster parents to our kids before we adopted the sibling group. Every one knew how we should be raising them but nobody wanted them in their house.

    1. What escapes the attention of the average parent who thinks they are being helpful is the unimaginable range of experiences children have endured and the range of personalities on the spectrum from oppositional-to-biddable.

      While the "helpful" parent is SURE they are worldly, they have no idea.

      "Alls you gotta do is tell them to 'stop'." cracks me up. I don't know why it is, but they seem to be in love with the word "Alls". When did "all" get an "s" added to it? Does it imply multiple application of the word "stop"?

      Yeah, like we haven't tried telling him/her to stop fifteen-thousand times already.


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