Friday, November 26, 2021

Fake News Friday: Biden approves use of Bass-o-Matic to lower "meat" prices


The Biden administration, always sensitive to rising prices due to supply-chain bottlenecks*, approved the use of Bass-o-Matic technology to process chickens, turkey, pork, beef, lamb, bats, pangolins. fish, insects and lycanthropes.

The United States Department of Agriculture determined that all animals can be processed by Bass-o-Matic technology into safe, wholesome and nutritious foods. Furthermore, they point out that wild carnivores usually eat both the intestines and contents of their fresh kills.

It is the natural way to eat!

*Displaced packing-plant workers will be gifted with $450,000 (which they were probably going to get anyway) which will cost the US taxpayers exactly zero-dollars.


  1. If laughter does the heart good this post will extend many lives . That was rich !

  2. For a chicken, or pigeon, dinner that Bass O Matic would eliminate that bothersome plucking. And skinning rabbits too. Great idea.---ken

  3. Thanks to the Wayback machine we can enjoy the memories of SNL when it was actually funny... even if you weren't stoned.

  4. The first year of my first try at college, I was at a school where TV reception was iffy. The school did not provide cable TV to the dorm rooms. Kids, ask your parents.

    Saturday nights we all gathered in the tiny lobby of the dorm, crammed in like sardines, to watch SNL on the communal TV, which had cable. We were cheek to cheek, and often you leaned on a neighbor and a neighbor leaned on you. We all had a blast.

    Funny the things that stick with you.

  5. Will Gallagher's Sledge-O Matic be approved for fruits and vegetables?


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