Monday, January 20, 2020

The little things life are made of

It is a big week for medical stuff.

I got the growth fried off of my face today. The doctor said to leave it alone for three days but then to start putting ointment on it to soften the scab. He said that would reduce the chances of a scar.

I asked for a recommendation on the ointment. He looked at me for a minute and then said, "In your case I would recommend Preparation-H."

Thursday I have a dentist appointment and start my preparation for the lower GI, aka, "Up Periscope" at noon.

The clinic called to gather preliminary information. It seems that I am an anomaly at age sixty. I have not had an operation nor am I currently on any prescription drugs. The benefits of a boring life.

Mrs ERJ takes me to the local hospital for the Lower GI at six on Friday morning.

A sense of satisfaction
I confess to feelings of satisfaction when one of the local, rabid, liberal ding-bats went off the rails.

The local, small-town paper is primarily about local high school sports, school info and classified ads. I image the circulation is about 10,000.

The dingbat had a letter-to-the-editor in nearly every issue.

And then....the editors of the privately owned newspaper said "You crossed the line."

The dingbat is now purchasing half-page ads as a platform to spew her gibberish.

Isn't capitalism GREAT! Now she is paying money for the privilege of being ignored.


Belladonna's classes are "hybrid". That means the lectures are canned and she can watch them on her computer. Today we learned about mitochondria, RNA, ATP, ribosomes and endoplasmic reticulum (which is further divided into smoothicons and roughicons)

Points will be deducted if endoplasmic reticulum is confused with decepticons and Optimus Prime.

Parenting and tough love
One of the reasons for maintaining my anonymity is that I can talk about sensitive issues without sabotaging the other players on the field. It allows me to share various sequence of events that resulted in less-than-optimal outcomes and some of the things we tried to claw our way back. Perhaps it can help other parents out there.

Kubota is twenty and the evidence suggests that there are two kinds of jobs: The jobs that Kubota is qualified to do but are beneath him and jobs that Kubota is willing to do but is not qualified for.

We did not get here over-night and the situation is not going to get fixed over-night.

We decided to kick him out of the house.

Since our goal is to have him join the ranks of the gainfully employed rather than for us to have an empty bedroom, we are cutting off his leg one inch at a time.

He had two weeks to find a job. He did not bother looking for a job. When the clock hit two weeks we kicked him out for one night. He laughed at us. A night at a friend's house is a party.

He had another two weeks to find a job.....Two nights at a friend's house is a party.

He had another two weeks to find a job...OUCH! It got real for him. Packing four nights of food in his backpack is a challenge. Oh, and he has to think about laundry. Four days on one pair of whitey-tighties is not civilized. And not too many of his buddy's mothers wanted him mooching around for four whole nights.

He had another two weeks....The day before he was tossed he looked for a job.

He had another two weeks....The day before he was tossed he looked for a job.

Mrs ERJ and I had a conversation. "If he is wasting the first 13 of the 14 days, then why are we giving him two weeks to find a job. He will be looking for jobs twice as much if we only give him a week."

This is a work in progress.

Yeah, I know many of you would have said "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." the first day he didn't look for work but the concrete had already set and this is the path we are going down.

The idea of progressively "kicking him out" for one, two, four, eight nights might be what some parents need as an off-ramp. If nothing else, it forces the kid to figure out how to live outside the home in smaller, easier bites than kicking him/her out in one jump off the cliff.

Oh, and good luck finding a place to live, rent free. He is going to have to work whether he is living in my house or with a friend.


  1. Good for you. That is a tough one. My kids were told prior to their 18th birthday that they would have to go to school full time or work and pay rent. Rent would be extremely reasonable. My oldest chose school and chose her degree by closing her eyes and touched the page of the school list of degrees. Excellent method. She attended San Diego State. During the first semester I found out she was going to Tijuana and drinking with friends. Another excellent choice. I told her she had choices. Join the military, go live with her dad (she already knew he didn't want her), pay her own way in school (because I wasn't going to pay for those choices) or come home and live with me following JUNIOR HIGH RULES. She chose to come home. I typed up a list of rules and their consequences and told her to sign it. She said, but I don't agree with them. I told her she didn't have to agree, she just had to sign that she understood them and if she didn't follow them that she understood the consequences. She signed it and posted it on her bedroom wall. If she missed curfew she owed me $1.00 for every minute she was late and we went by the stove clock, not her car clock. This was before cell phones. We all had pagers. She came home an hour late and I told her she owed me $60.00. She said she would pay me when she wanted to. I said you will pay by the end of the week or I will charge interest and it will be usury. No payment at the end of the week. Interest was added in. I drove her to her bank and said withdraw the money. If you don't I will take your pager, then your computer will be taken, then your CDs then your bedroom door. She said that was illegal. I said then go pay a $2,500 retainer fee and $250 an hour for a lawyer and I will see you in court. She paid me the money. Fast forward. She is now married, got a second degree in something she loves - nursing, has two beautiful children and is stricter with them than I ever was with her! She is an awesome mother, daughter and wife. I am very proud of her. You will make it through with your son. Keep up the good work!!

  2. I had a younger sibling who was coasting after high school. Mom came to me one day and said that I would be paying rent now since they were charging sibling rent (as encouragement to move along to adulthood). If you went to trade school/university then you got a up to a 12 month rebate of rent paid. Rent was reasonable. Sibling adulted. Pattern established for younger ones.

    "Be the Parent" I remind my wife occasionally. It applies in all the tough situations. If you are "being" a parent then you will have lots of tough situations. Thing is they will be tougher later if you avoid them now.

  3. Just curious, has Kubota ever thought of joining the military, or had it suggested to him? Lots of opportunities for learning some pretty neat tech.

    1. It has been suggested to him. He is over-weight, and that is a barrier.

      One of his friends, Kelly, is coming back from basic this next week. That might plant a seed in his head. Time will tell.


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