Sunday, January 22, 2023

How to tell if you are a ghost

There is a school of thought that contends that the afterlife will appear as a seamless continuation of their corporeal life to the deceased.

The theory holds that if you life is littered with people who act like garbage, it is probably because you are a POS and you deserve them. What would be more fitting than to have to spend eternity with them.

If you are blessed to be going through life with people like MRS ERJ then you are probably doing some things right and you deserve to spend eternity with great people.

You can immediately see the attraction of this hypothesis.

But is it testable?

I think so. Weigh yourself immediately upon "waking up" tomorrow morning.

Defecate.

Immediately weigh yourself again after cleaning up from defecating.

If your weight did not change, then you pooped a ghost-poop. The only beings that poop ghost-poops are ghosts.

QED

Note: All images were deleted out of a sense of decorum. Even ghosts have standards.

10 comments:

  1. This is a pretty good test strip for how you feel about your life.

    ReplyDelete
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  3. I read your gardening wisdom, and am amazed.
    Your fiction, and am intrigued.
    Your science based articles, utterly mystified.
    This must be a science article.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Any info on Ghost Farts? Do thy glow in the dark?---ken

    ReplyDelete
  5. As this measure is of a percentage change in weight, your margin of error could be proportional to total body mass..... unless... poop weight is also a (roughly) fixed percentage of body mass....

    As this is a pass/fail test, this observation is only significant when the difference in weight is within your margin of error, which might be case for most bathroom scales.

    What does this imply about the food you're eating.... I'm so confused.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I see what you did there, in paragraph three! Wise man!
    irontomflint

    ReplyDelete
  7. off topic I've got a couple questions first if bugs are so good and full of protein why don't they start using them in dog and other animal feed ? and did the national archives know about the biden papers and if they didn't why not ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Any direction to finding more info on this theory?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been farting like a mule all day today and pooped twice. Is there an equation to use in instance like this?

    HTR

    ReplyDelete

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