Devil's Advocate

Today I am interviewing Eaton Rapids Klaus, Michigan's only member of the World Economic Forum's inner circle.

I plied him with vast amounts of the finest French-Canadian red wine, cheap el-Ropo cigars hand-rolled by five-year-old virgins in the barrios of Van Buren County, Michigan and hours of classical Country-Western music to lubricate him and reduce his inhibitions about telling the truth. These questions were submitted by mental telemetry and by decoding the marks left by the gas-station squeegie on our windshield.

Q: Mr ERK, what can you tell us about the "big die-off"?

A: Eh, gonna happen any-way. We ran multiple Monte-Carlo economic simulations and we predict that a huge die-off has a 10-to-99% chance of happening in the next 100 years whether we intervene or not.

Q: But, by what moral right do you precipitate that die-off?

A: Well, us guys in Switzerland or Sweden...hell, I never can remember. I just tell Fritz, the pilot, to take me there...weeze decided that when you see a curve up ahead in the road ya don't take yer hands offen the wheel. That is "steering wheel" to the non-drivers.

Q: It sounds like you are going to steer the car off the road on purpose. What is with that?

A: The farther we get around the curve, the steeper the cliff is. Why wouldn't you pick a place where the side of the road is a pleasant place to have a picnic?

Q: What can you tell me about Greta?

A: Yaknow, I had my doubts about her. She always looks like she is trying to pass a peach-pit. But she has been useful.

Q: How so?

A: She convinced everybody under 30, half the world's population by-the-way, that they among the elite. Half the population cannot be "elite". That is not what the word means (throaty chuckle).

Q: Do you care to elaborate?

A: Elite does not mean 4 billion people who are in-the-know. Elite means twenty, fifty at most.

Elites will not live in Munger Hall at 220,000 people per square mile and be cooking raman noodles seasoned with Taco Bell packets on an electric hot-plate.

Q: You say "twenty, fifty at most". It seems like far more people attend WEF events than twenty or fifty.

A: Most of them are "Soldiers receiving their orders". It is cheaper to let them think they are elite than to disabuse them of the notion (Klaus waving his cigar in the air for emphasis).

Q: Are you the only true-elite in the United States?

A: Nope. There is a guy in Alberta and another in Orange County plus a few more sprinkled around here-and-there.

Q: Alberta is not in the United States.

A: Says who?

Q: Those two guys, aren't they always fighting?

A: Circus for the unwashed.

Q: You sound just like an old Jewish guy, the way you answer questions.

A: I read the Bible. It is a great instruction manual. Especially those bits about providing hospitality to men of virtue who walk by your tent and building arks. That could be important in the near future.

Q: Oil?

A: Great stuff, oil.

Q: No, I mean can you provide any insight on the war against oil?

A: Can't fight a war without it. Can't fit a nuclear reactor into an A-10, can-ya now?

The country that pumps itself dry first becomes their neighbor's vassal.

Q: Epidemics?

A: One of the four horsemen, no?

Space and sunshine are your friend. You know that Munger Hall I mentioned earlier? Eleven-thousand people funneling through only two doors to outside. All of them rubbing elbow-to-elbow and touching the same crash-bars to get out of the building. One person sneezes and 5000 people are exposed. I am pretty sure the architect was named Dee Conn.

Q: Drones and AI

A: Hiding in plain sight.

That fella in Albert is designing a drone and posting pictures on the internet. Alls he has to do is scale it up and install a Bombardier engines. Says he is going to make um by the millions and load them with packs of Newport smokes, lottery tickets and weed and start bombing Shanghai.

Q: How are they going to navigate?

A: Self-teaching PLCs. Common as cockroaches in industry. AI is already here.

Q: China and Russia?

A: Clearly, they haven't bought into the one-world-government thing. We gotta keep our eye on them.

Q: Is there anything you want to tell people who wish to join the elites?

A: Pay your dues. Do what you are told without asking questions. Consider subscribing to one of the religions that originated in East India. They believe in reincarnation. That will prove a comfort as you will never be one of the elite in this lifetime, not even if your name is Turd-oe or Biding-my-time.

And always remember, you can save the earth by dying in a location where your remains can be composted-in-place or rendered for hydrocarbon and protein powder. The lilac bushes will appreciate it.