Saturday, November 26, 2022

Taylor Swift: Better than knock-out drops

In sales, the marketing team strives to create unique, competitive selling points. If you are selling elevators you will own the market if your elevator is faster or quieter or more downwardly ventilated (farts drain out the floors) than your competitors.

As a human being, my unique, competitive selling point has been that I am boring to the point of invisibility. Nobody can remember me because they fall asleep within milliseconds of my starting to converse with them.

Alas, I now have competition: Taylor Swift

The buzz on the Internet is that Taylor Swift songs knock babies out like a double-dose of roofies in their formula.

I saw this with my own eyes. Quicksilver was cranky. Southern Belle opened up a Taylor Swift play-list on her phone and seconds later Quicksilver was on her way to the land-of-nod.

Frankly, I suspect that it was to escape the music and the saccharine, sibilant, repetitive lyrics.

So, if you find yourself watching your grandkids, put in your hearing protection and find a Taylor Swift play list.

However, I am not responsible to any damage done to your grandkids' psyche, intellect or morals.

6 comments:

  1. I honestly can't think of a single song title of hers or ever having heard her music.
    "As a human being, my unique, competitive selling point has been that I am boring to the point of invisibility. Nobody can remember me because they fall asleep within milliseconds of my starting to converse with them."
    I'm stealing this and I must say that invisibility is "MY" super power too.

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  4. We here at the Knuckledraggin' Taylor Swift Fan Club are offended, hurt and triggered by this post.

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