Friday, April 30, 2021

Yesterday in review

 It was sprinkling yesterday morning.

The Big Boss of the roofing company texted me and told me they were "making plans for the day". Working on a new steel roof when it is wet is like working on ice.

Three minutes later I got a text from Mom's caregiver. She was ill and had to leave.

I called the Big Boss back and asked if it would be a problem if his crew did not show up Thursday or Friday (mom's usual day). I said it would be a personal favor.

"No problem" he said. He had a pole-barn in St Johns he could put them on.

And off I went to Mom's.

It has been a while since I watched TV and that is what Mom does.

Harris Faulkner looks fifteen pounds lighter than I remember her from December. I hope she is not having health issues.

Mom really likes a "Doctor" show where the doctors(?) interview celebrity health kooks and then nod sagely as gibberish spews from the celebrity's mouth. Yesterday's episode had a couple singing the virtues of nose-breathing.

They even recommended duct-taping mouths shut to ensure accidental mouth-breathing did not occur.

And then they gave a huge laundry list of proven health benefits:

  • Nose breathing fills the body with heavy negative deions (I think I went to high school with Deion)
  • Nose breathing irradiates the body with long-wave, infrared light
  • Mouth-breathing creates free radicals (everybody in Portland and Seattle must be mouth-breathers)
  • Nose breathing centers your shakra and puts a point on your koan.

This is where the camera took shots of the doctors(?) and showed them nodding in complete agreement.

I remember thinking the duct tape trick would be pretty handy if your problems had their hands firmly zip-tied to the back of the chair and you also applied it over their nostrils. Admit it, the thought occurred to most of you, too, as you read it.

Out of self-defense, I downloaded one of Dorothy Grant's books on Kindle. That, too, has its risks. I made Venison Stroganoff for dinner and then ate too much.


  1. I've heard rumors of a new lib balm that helps you lose weight. It's made by Gorilla Glue.

  2. Duct tape to prevent 'mouth breathing' as a health aid?
    Not sure if satire or not.....


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