Governor Whitmer determined that sexual congress spreads Covid and signed an Executive Order outlawing sex between human beings.
When asked to explain the "science" behind her stunning finding, the Governor pointed out that Sexually Transmitted Diseases have gone up significantly since March, 2020. Additionally, since everybody has been socially distancing and wearing masks, it MUST be sex that is spreading it.
And Just-Like-That, senior citizens are fighting to get into the nursing homes that experienced the highest fatality rates. Who knew?