Thursday, December 6, 2018

Cletus and Zeke in East Carolina finis

Skrezya was on TV being interviewed in front of his devastated car lot.

"This was done by those two kids who were picketing that last few days. I saw them doing it and chased them away." he said.

"They are a menace. Those bolts coulda killed me or anybody else walking down the street." Skrezya said. His New Yawk accent became more pronounced in his excitement.

He had canceled the insurance on glass protection. He figured he would be gone before another hurricane came through...which is why the price was so high...and that there was no vandalism in this little hick town. He had been saving a bundle until today.

The TV interviewer, incidentally from the station where Skrezya spent most of his advertising dollars, made sympathetic noises.

"So you are sure it was them?" the interviewer asked.

Skrezya bristled. "Damned straight. I told you I chased them away, didn't I."

"And that was after I served them with court papers. I have a PPO against them and then they did this. That is why I am pressing charges for assault with a deadly weapon and expect the cops to arrest them." Skrezya said.

Thess's wife pulled into the driveway at ten in the morning. She had the two girls with her. The cops were waiting. They Mirandized the girls and arrested them. They did not say a word.

Thess's wife texted her husband at work. "He bit."

The girls came up for bail at 3:30 in the afternoon. Bobbi's cousin, Vinni, was a new law school graduate and had just passed the bar. He was representing them.

"Judge Mitchell, your honor, I want to present some evidence that is relevant to this hearing." Vinni said.

Judge Mitchell made a go-ahead motion.

"My two clients were in Raleigh from 5:00 last evening until 9:00 this morning and I have two unimpeachable witnesses who is willing to testify to that fact." Vinni said.

"Who are your witnesses?" Judge Mitchell asked.

"Bobbi and Kendra stayed with Bobbi's father and step-mother. Her father is a state trooper.  As you know, Bobbi does not have a car so it is not like she could have driven back here and done what Mr Skrezya said she did." Vinni said.

"This is a clear example of false arrest based on slanderous, sworn statements." Vinni said.

"I will take that under advisement when I consider setting the bail." Judge Mitchell said. He really did not think Bobbi was a flight risk.

"Anything else?" Judge Mitchell asked.

"Only this." Vinni said as he handed over the two restraining orders. "Your secretary said you were out of the office all day yesterday so I don't see how you could have signed these orders."

Judge Mitchell scanned the documents that Skrezya had "served" Bobbi and Kendra. In fact the signature that was scrawled in the appropriate line read Judge Mitchell but it was not his signature. Also, the document looked like something pulled off the internet as it was not even the font that the court used.

Judge Mitchell was an excellent judge. He was able to judge cases on their merits because he meticulously kept himself emotional distant from the conflict.

Skrezya had just dropped the clutch that disengaged Judge Mitchell's emotional distance. Somebody had forged Mitchell's signature and used it to damage these two girls.

Addressing the two girls, "Exactly who handed these papers to you girls?"

Bobbi said, "Mr Skrezya walked out of his office late yesterday afternoon and handed that piece of paper to me."

Kendra was nodding her head in agreement.

Mitchell raised a shaggy eyebrow as he looked at the two deputies guarding the entrance to the courtroom door. "How quickly do you think you can get Mr." Mitchell virtually spitting out the word "Skrezya into this courtroom if I issue a bench warrant?"

The deputies were pretty sure it would be well before the end of the business day even if they had to bend, fold and spindle Mr Skrezya to make that happen.


That evening, Carol Skrezya née Whitworth was knocking at Thess's front door.

She apologized for the late hour. She asked if Bobbi was home.

Thess's wife invited her in to visit.

Sitting in the front parlor, Carol apologized for the way her dealership had treated Bobbi. "I drove your car over to deliver it. It turns out that the only thing wrong with it was that, somehow, the axle-shafts had popped out of the transmission. It was a five minute fix."

Thess asked, "Isn't your husband going to be pissed?" Thess was in his recliner with a heating pad on his shoulder. He wasn't as spry as he used to be.

Carol signed. "I just finished talking to my attorney. I am filing for divorce tomorrow morning."

"Boy, I bet things are tense in your house." Bobbi observed.

"Not really. Things are actually...calm.  Ralph is serving thirty days for contempt-of-court. Judge Mitchell did not have a sense of humor when it came to the shenanigans Ralph played." Carol said.

"I want to apologize with more than just words." Miss Carol said. "Next time you are in the market for a truck, Mr Thess, I want you to visit us. I truly will sell you one at invoice 'cause  I owe it to you folks for making me see just what kind of man my husband had turned into."

"We don't buy many new cars." Thess said. "Kinda out of our budget."

"In that case, tell me which used car or truck you want and you can have it for what we allowed for trade-in." Miss Carol said. "We will work something out."

"That is right kind of you, Miss Carole. We will keep that in mind the next time we are looking." Thess's wife said.

End of the Cletus and Zeke shorts

1 comment:

  1. Heh, country justice... And judges DON'T like people playing games with their signature!


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