Friday, September 23, 2022

Fake News Friday: Department of Homeland Security to outlaw coffee creamer and flour

White House Press Secretary, Raggedy Annie announced that the Department of Homeland Security had determined that coffee creamer and wheat flour were dangerous explosives and would be taken off the consumer market.

Peter Doocy pointed out that flour would still be used in commercial bakeries and there were a host of other, combustible dusts that could be pressed into service as field-expedient explosives.

Raggedy Annie responded that General Milley had already committed to giving all NCOs lobotomies when they retired to ensure that information did not leak out to the general public. Furthermore, members of Congress would be granted a waiver so they could continue to use make-up.


  1. It is almost as if we were living in an alternate universe . Your headlines would not be thought of as unusual comparatively speaking with what we have been accustomed to . It's like we are now in a Bizarro Comic .

  2. i hope this is satire?
    if not i need to lay in creamer and gluten free flour before it disappears

  3. What is it with you Yanks and your coffee creamer? Why can't you just admit that good old British custard powder is a much better alternative?

    Even JMB at the last gave up on 'fashionable' creamer and returned to custard sanity with his 1935 "Trifle".

  4. Today's satire somehow always ends up being tomorrows fact.

  5. True coffee drinkers drink it black, no cream or sugar. Same with Hot Tea.

    Now ice cold Sweet Tea is another whole kettle of fish.


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