Send this email with whatever modifications you find necessary to your most liberal acquaintances. Send it via any, large email carrier.
Dearest Cousin Penelope:
Thank-you for your and Biff’s generous offer to let me sleep in your garden shed if things get too hot for Conservatives here in Michigan. I know this is a HUGE sacrifice for you as leading members of the uber-liberals in Laurel, MD. You really came through for me. Family first!!!
I have a few concerns to clear up before I add you to my list of bug-out locations:
-First, I don’t mind the pallets of .50 BMG, linked ammo. I think it gives your shed a cozy, homelike appeal and the photos you sent indicate that they will provide a nice, flat surface for my inflatable mattress.
-Second, I don’t even mind the crates of grenades if you replaced the detonators and can verify that they were stored in a cool place. Of course, even the Comp B is liable to self-detonate if you purchased them from Vietnam on one of your over-seas trips. If so, the M31s will have to be relocated. Very, very gently relocated.
-My biggest hang-up are the twenty-pound canisters of Sarin. Frankly, that stuff gives me the heebie-jeebies. All it takes is one, tiny pinhole from corrosion or a bit of cold-lapped weld…. I don’t know where you got them and I completely understand your not wanting to store it in the house. Unfortunately, my relocating to Maryland is completely off-the-table until you find a better place to store the Sarin and the other chemical warfare expendables.
Very highest regards,
That should get someone at .gov's attention.ReplyDelete
I remember seeing a list somewhere of the Top 25 or Top 50 red flag words that .gov uses to determine if someone is a potential 'terrorist' and thus needs to be monitored more closely. The strategy being to slip at least one or several of these words into each and every email and other correspondence in order to create a perpetual and exponentially expanding list of people that .gov needs to devote resources and man-hours to keep tabs on.ReplyDelete
Your method is a bit over-the-top, Joe. But DAY-AMM !!! It would be a good way to get every Leftist we know instantly at the top of .gov's list. And there are countless ways it could be modified to sound like a legitimate email, limited only by the composer's imagination.
I assume that I am somewhere on .Gov's list of people to watch. If an actual human at NSA reads my blog, I hope you find the fiction enjoyable and informative.Delete