Safety Pins

Our final revenge will be to have our children turn into us. Sadly, most of us will not be around when this happens.

My father-in-law used safety pins to keep his socks paired through the laundry. This happened after my mother-in-law passed away and he was in bachelor mode. Since he rarely wore shorts it was a spiffy way to keep them together.

So, guess who now uses safety pins to keeps his socks from getting divorced in the laundry hamper? I found an additional advantage. The paired socks flop over the line I have stretched in the basement to dry clothing like a pair of saddlebags, no clothes pin needed.

I know it seems like a small, small thing but nearly all of my socks are white and since I add to the fleet on a periodic basis they are all of slightly different lengths and ribbing pattern. Pronouncing them man-and-wife as I pull them out of the package and send them for their first trip through the washer to remove manufacturing ick saves me from the tedious tasks of attempting to mate nearly-identical socks.

Mrs ERJ is amazing

I thought I was pretty clever when I decided to use a safety pin to identify the top-left corner of our blankets.

We have a queen sized mattress and the blankets are very nearly square. Nearly, but not quite.

I thought that by putting the safety pin in that corner we could speed up the changing of the sheets (done to the tune of the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies).

I neglected the fact that the blankets are fleece and are, to my eye, identical on both sides. However, Mrs ERJ is able to un-erringly identify top-and-bottom so we are good. She flips it onto the bed top-side-up. I find the corner with the safety pin and we are off to the races.

Coffee

When my kids were in high school they distainfully said "I am NEVER going to drink coffee!!!" and/or "Coffee does not affect MY body that way. I need energy drinks."

You can guess what they are drinking now that they are adults.

Where the heck did "MY body does not work that way" come from? It wasn't just my kids either. They were manifestations of the culture they were swimming in.

"I can eat sugar because it does not affect MY body" and "I can eat 6000 Calories a day because MY body can handle it" and "I can drink six energy drinks because MY body is immune to the it" and "Exercise is actually bad for MY body".

All kinds of snarky comments pop into my head but mostly I keep them from flying out of my mouth. Most of them revolving around some variation of the thought "I guess there is no point in ever taking you to the doctor since your body works differently than the ones he studied in Med School"