In the last post I wrote:
We talked about girls. I assured him that it is not hard to talk "to" girls. Once they have decided that they are interested in you, your main job will be to listen.Credentials
OK, I am not a "Lady's Man". I don't have vast amounts of experience with women. I have only been married once.
The paradox is that once you figure out "the code" you are off the market. If God smiles upon you, if you are lucky and if you are sufficiently mature, you stay off the market.
I do have a couple of daughters and both of them are verbally adept.
I have friends, family, acquaintances and coworkers. Some are men. Some are women.
In general, most women are more verbal than men.
It would have been more precise to say
Once a woman has decided that she is interested in you, she will float you some juicy, conversational peaches right up the center of your strike zone. Your job is to be able to define "what give you joy" in one or two simple sentences to make her job easy.It does not matter if your passion is bow-hunting, a sports team, WWII history, quantum theory, anime or clay mineralogy. If she has a brain in her head, she will make it work.
The corollary is that you don't need to appeal to the "average" person of the opposite sex. Honestly, how do you expect to have 1.73 children? Chop off the bigger kid's left leg?
You only need to be "extremely appealing" to ONE person of the opposite sex. The caveat is that the person you appeal must meet a certain range of what you find appealing.
I say this from the premise that humans are incredibly adaptable. Even if you figure that "values" are the personality's rigid skeleton, that skeleton is articulated.
Consider that after a few beers both conservatives and liberals are likely to agree that both want the world to become a better place. The difference is in the default path to achieve that goal.
How do you help a woman decide that she is interested in you?
One way is to walk up to the woman sitting next to* the "prettiest" girl in the room and give her your undivided attention.
Two things happen. That girl's ego is bruised by hours of watching boys walk past her, as if she were furniture, and hitting on the prettiest girl.
The second thing that happens is that by giving her your undivided attention you establish that you are immune to the allure of superficial charm. That speaks well of your potential to commit and stay committed.
*Disclosure: Mrs ERJ WAS the prettiest girl in the room. Do as I say, not as I did.