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We have all  seen young women out in public wearing extremely long, false eyelashes. They project outward like awnings intended to keep the town's pigeons from crapping on the pedestrians. Young women wear them because they believe that those eyelashes make them look feminine and it is a way of projecting their desirability.

Men, envy them no more

Mr Glen Filthie, I am looking at you...

Ear-hair plugs* are a coming thing. EHPs are the ideal way to establish dominance and to command respect. Nothing says you have ancestors from Europe or India more emphatically than EHPs!

EHPs make hirsutophobes projectile-vomit. Metrosexuals have been seen grinding Carolina Reaper peppers into their orbs after encountering men, real men, wearing them. One man wearing jeans, a plaid, flannel shirt and a pair of these puppies has been known to clear an entire soccer stadium in less then 4.2 minutes.

Available in multiple lengths with 22.3mm, 30.8mm and 45.2mm being stock items. Custom lengths available.

Available in several shades "Bleached", "Ginger", "Dark", "Multi-tone" and the ever-popular Red-White-and-Blue.

All hair is ethically and sustainably harvested from German Shepherds whose ancestors originally came from Northern Europe.



Slightly off topic

A lady once called 9-1-1 on me. The cops were waiting for me in the parking-lot.

"Now what was the problem, ma-am?" the officers (2 of them) asked her.

"He is a mass-murderer. Look at him. You can tell by his eye-brows" she told them.

In truth, I sport bushy eyebrows which sometimes peak upward in mid-arch giving me a Northern Horned Owl vibe.

The cops told me to shut-up and leave. I didn't say a thing, got in my vehicle and left.

I have no doubt that the woman is a "frequent flier" for 9-1-1.