Thursday, December 15, 2022

The advice from the Pro-from-Dover


The-Pro-from-Dover offered me the following free advice.

"Know thy self" is the first step in finding work.

One path to doing that is to look at what you do for fun. What brings you joy? Be very specific.

You might go to a kid's basketball game and see adults coaching. Others will be reffing. Still others will be recording statistics.

The coaches chose that role because they are energized by achieving results through other people. They are not on the court, the kids are. "Achieving results through other people" is a core element of supervising. Only one person in every forty lists "Achieving results through other people" as their prime motivator.

The tasks involved in being a ref are similar to the tasks done by traffic cops and quality inspectors.

The parents recording the statistics are motivated by the clusters of tasks that are similar to keeping books and auditing.

The-Pro-from-Dover is very involved in the performing arts scene in Lansing. Actors and actresses are motivated by the same things that make very effective salespeople. Actors and actresses are typically under-employed because they never consider "sales" as a natural extension of their passion.

A key point is the tasks that give us joy are not necessarily the ones we are good at, and vice versa. Golf is a good example. There are far more enthusiastic golfers than there are good ones.


Skills, like motivators, tend to exist in clusters.


Now I want you to take a leap of faith. The first wheel, motivators, is the rear-wheel or power wheel of a bicycle. The second wheel, skills, is the front or steering wheel of the bicycle. 

The rear wheel drives. The front wheel steers.

Integrating the two

Network. Talk to your friends. Talk with some mentors. Share what you consider to be your prime motivators AND the ones you consider soul-sucking. Share what you consider to be your strengths. Don't be surprised when they point out several other strengths that you took for granted.

Then, brainstorm some "jobs" that are the intersection of those "best" motivators and skills.

What Color is Your Parachute

Once you have a list of potential jobs or positions that play to your strength, look at the local employers and industries and envision WHO needs somebody what you are offering.

Bypass the HR department. Find somebody with sufficient authority to direct HR to hire you. Give them your fifteen second elevator pitch. Make an appointment to elaborate when it is convenient for them.

The Psychology behind this method

Did you know any people who were desperate for romance in high school or college. They threw themselves at every passing person who might, maybe be interested in them. How often were they successful, haunted as they were by the smell of desperation?

Now consider the person who made a careful study of the 300 girls at his high-school. He narrowed the field down to a top-five. They suit his interests, his pocketbook and his other requirements.

He approaches the one who lives closest to his house...or has a car...or whose dad owns a liquor store...and informers her that he is very attracted to her and that he would like to spend time with her.

He ignores the other 299 girls while he is pitching his case. If he goes down in flames, he waits a suitable amount of time before approaching number two on the list.

Which Romeo is most likely to be successful?


  1. The successful Romeo is the one who didn't stop, no matter how many times he got rejected. Persistence is the engine that makes the back wheel turn so the front wheel can steer.

  2. ERJ, sometimes your innocence and naΓ―vetΓ© surprises, but it’s always refreshing. You set up the question almost so that it’s almost rhetorical, but a lot of important context is missing. What kind of “romance” are we talking about. If it’s the physically enjoyable, short term variety, your autist with the binders on 300 girls (Mitt Romney much?) is going nowhere fast. Obviously he’s looking for longer term romance, but I’m skeptical he would ever find that given his creepy binders full of chicks. It’s hard to meet anyone with an atomic wedgie and being crammed in a locker.

    On the other hand, having been through undergrad and multiple grad schools, playing sports and being quite socially active all the while, highly successful swordsmen treated “romance” as a game. It was, as baseball, a numbers game where a .300 batting average over a period of time made one a hall of famer. Females, having been sexualized to behave like males thanks to unhinged feminism, made that batting average entirely realistic. Moreover, to carry on with my clumsy metaphor, stepping to the plate many times in a bar or a party was not desperation. It showed confidence, even aloofness, which many women find irresistible. Women know bad boys are bad for them, yet they consistently run to them. And nothing makes another woman want “romance” with a guy more than seeing him being with another woman.

    Yes I realize that you are most likely referring to traditional romance where a man and woman find love, marry and raise a family. But the evidence is that most folks under 40 don’t want that. Guys, especially, given the horrendous divorce laws, child custody, and spousal support issues, increasingly see the kind of romance that analyzing 300 young women would bring as a nightmare. Better to opt for trying a different woman or even two a night, as some popular apps allow you to. Then the young man can get back to Call of Duty and pizza, all of his immediate physical needs fulfilled until the next day.

    1. Well, I guess I got taken to the "wood" shed over that post

    2. Not at all. Love the site and appreciate your thoughtful emissions. Just felt like bloviating… cramped the thumbs though.

    3. You will be pleased to know that I was not overcome with debilitating amounts of empathy over your cramped thumbs.

  3. Do not make smart-arsed remarks to women. I have done that three times, to my eternal regret. 1) 50 years ago to my teenaged babysitter, who did not deserve it in the least. 2) 40 years ago to a female manager; thinking I could kid around, manager to manager. Wrong - women are women first, then managers. 3) 10 years ago to a senior class girl who asked me “what’s your first name?” To which I responded “why, are we going to hang out?” This 18 year-old beauty eyed me speculatively. “Maybe”. Uh-oh, back off of that one.
    I have been happily married for 58 years, and am now 82. My experience is that attractive women come along about 2 a year. One should not wreck one’s life for an unknown future.

  4. The successful Romeo (long term genes) is on his own mission and driven to succeed at it. It is a goal larger then short term hookups w ladies.

    It is building a fortress in which to raise a family. A young man focused on tactical skills, long term income, and physical health will not need a list of women to pursue if he builds himself up, and gains social power via providing abundance.

    Women will chase him! That is the long term order of things, same as it ever was…

  5. Let me get back to the employment perspective.
    Know what you like doing.
    Be extremely good at it and demonstrate that with results, say increased productivity.
    Get kicked in the nuts by management that doesn't have a clue as to how the magic happens but wants to suck up to what they think the person above them wants.
    And you thought they wanted increased productivity.

  6. Yes, Eaton Rapids Joe's America is dead.
    Wokeness and hookup culture. Men and Women open an app and are having sex at will. What Culture, Community or Culture can survive that?
    If you are not woke can't get hired, what Culture, Community or Country can survive that?
    The government doesn't like the views and lifestyle of a substantial portion of the Country? Replace them!
    What country can survive that?

  7. Im making over $13k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do.Copy Here...... 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐨𝐧π₯𝐒𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐑𝟏.𝐜𝐨𝐦


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