Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Proverbs 31 Women

"Man... now THAT is a beautiful woman!" from the comments of the previous post.

I submit for your consideration that the elusive "Proverbs 31 woman" mutually evolves with her husband. Furthermore, I submit that MANY women can be "Proverbs 31 women" given an environment that fosters those characteristics.

10 Who can find a woman of worth? Far beyond jewels is her value.
11 Her husband trusts her judgment; he does not lack income. (Joe comment: Her husband trusts her judgment. He does not belittle her or double-double-check-check her)
12 She brings him profit, not loss, all the days of her life.
13 She seeks out wool and flax and weaves with skillful hands.
14 Like a merchant fleet, she secures her provisions from afar. (...merchant fleet...sailors in days-of-yore navigated by watch for birds, clouds over land-forms, wave patterns, the night sky, smell and a thousand other clues. This can be read as the Proverbs 31 woman exercising extreme situational awareness to keep her household safe)
15 She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household, a portion to her maidservants.
16 She picks out a field and acquires it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. (Planting a vineyard is a long time-horizon enterprise. As husbands we need to encourage our wives to think beyond the daily chaos, even if it means we pitch in and give her some relief)
17 She girds herself with strength; she exerts her arms with vigor. (If your wife is glowing with the sheen of perspiration and her hair is frizzy with humidity, it is important to tell her she is lovely beyond words and that some women spend thousands of dollars on cosmetics to look exactly the way she looks right now...and she still looks better than they do)
18 She enjoys the profit from her dealings; her lamp is never extinguished at night. (Mrs ERJ tells me this is the Biblical reason why she is a night-owl)
19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. (Historians believe that this was written about Lemuel's mother, the "queen mother". If the "queen mother" is not too proud to card and spin wool and flax then we, as men, should not be ashamed of any productive enterprise our women want to pick up)
20 She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. (This is a hard one for me. Mrs ERJ is about 20 times more generous than I am. We are on the same page about donating to organizations that are in alignment with our family values)
21 She is not concerned for her household when it snows—all her charges are doubly clothed. (It does not snow frequently in the Holy Land. I interpret this to mean that Lemuel's mother would probably be considered a "prepper" today)
22 She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing.
23 Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land. ( This might seem unimportant but comes into play in verse 31)
24 She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs at the days to come. (Another clue that she prepares for the future.)
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue. (Men can turn women into shrews when we don't listen to them. "Listening" is not the same as agreeing. Saying "I need some time to process that" is perfectly OK as long as you bring the subject up again in a reasonable amount of time.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband, too, praises her:
29 “Many are the women of proven worth but you have excelled them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Acclaim her for the work of her hands, and let her deeds praise her at the city gates. (Her husband recognizes her accomplishments publicly. Three things motivate people: The work itself, Being able to "own" an accomplishment, Recognition for those accomplishment.

A key point to having a motivated, Proverbs 31 wife is to open up the vice-grips (our ego) and to let her "own" her projects; the successes, the failures, the education. As men, we are hardwired to be "fixers". We need to tamp that down and trust our women.)


  1. Excellent!
    I had also noticed how well mannered the children in the video were. Verse 28?

  2. Unfortunately, my ex was more like the Proverbs 21:19 woman.

  3. This is part of our Friday night meal in which we bless the wife, husband, sons, and daughters every week.

  4. The verse used when I eulogized my mom.


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