The Greatest Invention

Several tech-type people were in the middle of an equipment installation.  The skilled trades were on break so we had a few minutes to act like human beings.  The conversation turned to "Greatest Inventions."

As expected, the thermos bottle was proposed "Keeps hot foods hot, cold foods cold.  How does it know?"

The hands-down winner, though, was the universal remote.

And then Tim, the young engineer from Detroit stunned us.  He said, "Mine really is a universal remote.  It works on my wife."  Stunned silence followed as we assimilated that information.  You could see the possibilities spinning through people's heads.

And then he brought us back to earth.

"I point it at the TV and hit the [+ Vol] button....and she gets louder too."

Shattered dreams hit the concrete floor like shards of glass.

Six months later...

I found myself in need of a new universal remote.  My one remote (yes, I know it is un-American to have only one remote) was MIA.

So I asked Tim what brand of remote possessed the magical, spouse controlling capability.

He hung his head.  "I cannot tell you."

Smelling BS, I asked him, "Why not?"

He replied, "I no longer have that remote.  Or TV.  Or wife."

Oooops!  In retrospect I guess that was predictable.

Belladonna update

She pushed the Envoy out of the snow drift.  There are advantages to being able to deadlift 400 pounds.