Mikhail Kutuzov

We had Pelé, our oldest son over for Christmas dinner.

At one point he was lamenting that life wasn't turning out as glorious as he had hoped. He had not done anything historic. He had not cured cancer. He had not created a video game to rival Grand Theft Auto. He had not invented a solar-panel paint that can be painted onto any structure thus turning it into a giant solar cell.

In a word, he thinks he is a failure.

I suggested that there is something to be said for still being alive. That cannot be said for all of his classmates.

"Nope. If I were dead I could start over" he replied.

I deduced that he believed in reincarnation....this year.

"My impression is that the form you will be reincarnated as is based on how well you played the cards you were dealt during this lifetime" I told him.

That piqued his interest. "Whaddya mean?" he asked.

"Many times we are dealt shitty hands. Sometimes the best we can hope for is to lose but to lose with elegance and style and at the maximum cost to the victor" I said.

Mikhail Kutuzov

Mikhail Kutuzov was the Russian general who faced off against Napoleon and the greatest and most technologically advanced army in the world.

Napoleon's campaigns were finely tuned to the logistical landscape of Western and Central Europe. To wit, decent roads, canals and harbors. Villages every three miles and enough food, fodder and fuel in the fertile valleys to support a population of 200 people per square-km.

Napoleon entered Russia like a bulldozer, fresh from flattening the greatest armies Europe could muster. European armies with the most modern weapons and the best trained soldiers.

Russia was backwards and poor. Kutuzov had bodies. He had men. He had horses. But he could not match Napoleon musket-for-musket or cannon-for-cannon nor could he match the quality of Napoleon's battle-tested soldiers and officer corp.

On paper, Napoleon should have walked right through Kutuzov's hollow army.

Kutuzov knew that.

In spite of the urging of the government, Kutuzov kept retreating. But it was not a turn-tail and run retreat. It was a set-up-battlelines, harry and then retreat.

Napoleon won battles through rigorous discipline. Every time he encountered one of Kutuzov's phantom battlelines, Napoleon laid in his artillery, assembled the troops, set up the kitchens and hospitals and then launched the battle...against...smoking campfires but no soldiers.

When Napoleon got wise to the trick, Kutuzov was ready. He launched some vigorous sorties into the unprepared French troops and punched Napoleon's pride in the nose.

Napoleon went back into hyper-prepared mode and summer turned into fall turned into winter.

Kutuzov burned fields of grain. Kutuzov burned barns and had the peasants carry grain out of the path of Napoleon's army. There were no trucks in those days. Nor were there trains. Napoleon's army was reduced to dragging their logistical tail.

Not a featherweight but still impressive

It was a consummate demonstration of a featherweight boxer dancing and weaving and not being there when the lumbering heavyweight lunched his haymakers.

Napoleon's army was not outfitted for winter warfare and had no means to update their kit.

By the end of the thirteenth round, the featherweight was scuffed up a little bit but the heavyweight could no longer lift his arms. That is when Kutuzov tagged out and the two greatest generals in Russian history stepped in. General Январь and General Февраль, known in the west as January and February.

This graphic is often presented as the model of maximum information, maximum intuitive content and minimum clutter. The trace starts in the west (left side) and the thickness of the line shows the size of Napoleon's army. Various cities and "battles" are represented with red dots. The black trace is Napoleon's retreat from Moscow.

Kutuzov was not dealt a winning hand.

Kutuzov played his hand with tenacity and grit and intelligence. In the end, the winner overplayed his hand. Kutuzov did not beat Napoleon. Napoleon beat Napoleon.