A little East of Paris: First loot-and-pillage, then burn

“Hey, Tony. This is Hank and I am returning your call. What’s on your mind?” Hank led off without preamble.

Even though Hank knew Tony from Knights of Columbus, he didn’t know him that well. Tony wasn’t able to make many events because of his work schedule, those events being invariably scheduled in the evenings. But Hank did remember Tony from one, memorable ceremony where Tony hadn’t been “read-in” to a skit that was to be performed during an intermission. The intermission was, in fact, a ruse to put the members at ease and the skit was a good-cop-bad-cop set-up.

Tony was crossing the room like a bulldozer before three of the supporting cast-members picked up on the fact that their star actor was about to be flattened. They were able to deflect and calm-down the VERY angry Tony, but it had been a close thing.

Hank had been one of the three actors and immense respect for Tony’s physical strength but was leery of Tony’s judgment.

“’Livy, my oldest daughter is going to school up in Paris” Tony led off. “Some boys locked her in a room and she had a panic attack.”

“Gee, that’s terrible” Hank said with great sincerity. “Is she OK?”

Hank thought the event was regrettable but didn’t see any reason why Tony needed a lawyer.

“I talked to her an hour ago and she was still in the Student Hospital under observation” Tony said. “She says she is gonna be fine but I think she doesn’t want me to worry.”

Hospitalized! That caught Hank’s attention. In the old days, they called “Panic Attacks” a-case-of-the-vapors and some people had them on a regularly scheduled basis.

“OK, you got my interest. Start from the beginning. What did ‘Livy say to you, word-for-word as close as you can remember” Hank told Tony.

Hank started making notes when Tony mentioned that she had been GLUED into the room. That took it from “prank” to cruel-and-unusual. The act of violence hadn't been a spur-of-the-moment thing. They had planned and prepared.

“You are absolutely sure the perp said “Mess with the bull, get the horns”? Hank pressed.

“I am sure” Tony said, grimly.

That painted the event as retribution and premeditated. Very interesting. It begged the question "What could Tony's daughter done to them to motivate that kind of attack?"

“What time do you get off work?” Hank asked.

“I ain’t at work” Tony replied.

Hank thought for a few seconds, and then he asked “Where are you?”

“I just passed San Antone” Tony said.

“Turn around” Hank commanded him.

“What?” Tony asked, surprised.

“Turn around. I will meet you at the King's Inn. I will buy you a beer and we will get a table outside* where nobody can hear us” Hank told him. "Then I will go through the play-book and the order things need to happen in."

“My daughter needs me. I am going to Paris” Tony blew-up at Hank.

“Nothing good will happen if you go to Paris, Tony. Law is my turf. If you go to Paris and just happen to stumble across those guys who put your daughter into the hospital, you will go to prison and everything you worked for to make life better for your family will go to them” Hank told him.

The point about losing everything he had made of his life was a strike to the heart. He wasn’t working 70 hours a week for himself. It was so his family would have a better life.

“What do you mean, I will lose everything?” Tony asked.

“If you go up there and stomp around, it will muddy up the water and make my job at least ten times harder. If you hurt any of them, they will press charges and then after they win, they will sue you for every penny you've got” Hank laid the cards on the table.

“Criminal law has much higher standards of proof than civil law. If you lose a criminal case then getting civil damages from you is a piece of cake” Hank said. "But that knife cuts both ways. If I can get up there and pull together the evidence and push the Prosecuting Attorney and if THEY get convicted of a crime, then we win."

“If you hire me then I will drive up to Paris first thing tomorrow and I will push to get criminal convictions against those guys. But it isn’t going to be quick and it isn’t gonna be easy” Hank said.

“Won’t the college do that?” Tony asked.

Hank sighed. Some people were so naive. “No, they won’t. Nobody would ever send their kids to college if universities honestly reported the crime that happens there. Nor would the alumni donate to the school. They will just fix the door and nothing else will ever happen...if we leave it to the college.”

“If you promise to turn around at the next exit, I will buy you a beer at the King's Inn. If you are there, I will promise to do my damnedest to jam a shovel handle up their ass and break it off. If you don’t turn around, there is nothing I can do to help you. Which will it be?” Hank asked.

Tony groaned. He didn't like it because he was a straight-ahead kind of guy. But he could see Hank's logic. “Make mine a Shiner Bock. My GPS says I am an hour and fifteen minutes away.

(C) 2025 Eaton Rapids Joe, All Rights Reserved

*To the best of my knowledge, King's Inn never had tables outside, but they do serve Shiner's Bock.