I had a comment come in as email.
The writer is a little older than I am. More important, his kids are older than mine.
He pointed out that kids like Kubota are playing a game similar to "Suicide by Cop".
They want to grow up but the plays in the playbook are out of their reach.
A Master's at Dartmouth, an Audi Quatro, 3600 square foot house in Hartford...not possibilities for 999/1000.
They are biologically driven to leave the nest but the script blocks them.
What is a fellow to do?
The Kingdom of Knuckleheads
Acting like a knucklehead is a way to salvage dignity.
Getting kicked out of the house is to be driven before the winds, victims of the forces of nature. It is not a factor under the KnH's control...or at least the narrative can be spun that way.
As a parent, we have a tough call to make. How much KnH behavior will we tolerate? What guard rails can we put around the behaviors? Are our kids ready to solo?
Many are. Some are not. In a population of a thousand kids, at least one of them is 0.1th percentile. If you look at modern life their might be twenty mandatory competencies. If so, it is likely that there are twenty individuals who are 0.1th percentile for one of those competencies.
Darwin did not postulate 'Survival of the fittest.' He postulated survival of the fit. We must ask, "Is our child 'fit'? Some times the answer is 'Not yet.'
It is not my place to second guess any parent's choices.
My kids decided when they were ready to leave.
ReplyDeleteOne for the navy, another to move in with his girlfriend and the other prison.
The draft made up my mind.
Things are different today and often parents don't set reasonable expectations. Go to college, get an office job, etc. That's not the way for everyone. My son started in college wanting to go into the same profession his Mom and I are in. We suggested that maybe it wasn't right but he continued anyway. 2 years later, he is enrolled in tech school and 18 months after that, he has a degree and is doing something he enjoys very much. And the salary part of it has worked out for him as well - quite the demand for techs to work on Bobcats, Doosans and Kubotas. Plus, he has some upward mobility in his organization if he chooses.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Mike Rowe and his efforts to bring tech classes back into high school and encourage kids to look at things other than a 4 year degree.
Get them on the road to success and they will leave the nest successfully. Maybe at 18 or maybe at 23, but at least they will be prepared.
I had two knuckleheads. They were told to 'move on' after leaving high school. I believe at some point the needs of the remaining siblings and the parents take precedence over the knucklehead's disruptive behaviors. Unfortunately, some of us, need to attend the School of Hard-Knocks until we understand what our parents were trying to teach us.
ReplyDeleteI'm more familiar with the younger set. There also seems to be a battle point around 13 or 14 when the testosterone fairy hits and there is a CONSTANT battle to civilize the idiots.
ReplyDeleteJust had a 1 hour with Pugsley on just that subject.
But I gave up being angry for Lent, so, it was a nice Mr. Rodgers-style conversation.