Wednesday, March 23, 2022

People who are chronically late piss me off

I think it was Firehand over at Irons in the Fire who observed that March weather is manic-depressive and she has a history of going off her meds.

The same can be said of war. There is nothing predictable about war except every party with a finger in the pudding will try to spin it to their advantage.

A system of rain-storms is passing through our area. The weather is cold and dreary rather than violent like the storms in Texas, Louisiana and the rest of the south.

Venting

I like to think that there are not many things that can push-my-buttons. 

Threaten my family? Check.

Let the vehicle run out of gas? Check.

People who are late? Check-check-checkity-check.

Kubota was late. Again.

I pulled into his driveway. 

I saw no lights on in any of the windows. 

I texted "I am here".

Then I call three times. He did not pick up.

I left one minute after our agreed upon pick-up time of 6:20.

Kubota called just as I was lowering myself into my recliner with a cup of coffee. 

"Where are you?"

I shared my displeasure with him when I picked him up.

Its a mad, mad world

There are many people in our new, touchy-feely world who promote the idea that holding people accountable to time is dehumanizing. They would have us believe that it "values life and emotions" to switch to "more humane, third-world ideas of time". 

The most radical would have us believe that "time" is racist and was invented to repress peoples-of-color (except yellow ones).

That balloon is pretty easy to pop. A meeting is called or some task is scheduled. Nine people show up on-time while number ten is late. What does that say about the value of the nine people's time? Remember, we are on this earth for a limited number of heart-beats. Every heartbeat wasted waiting for Mr Draggy-feet is a heartbeat not spent with your loved ones, a heartbeat not spent in the activity you could not do because you made showing up on-time a priority.

Being late sends the message "Nobody else here matters except for me. Your lives and priorities are of no consequence to me." If that message is tolerated, then it becomes an exercise in signalling dominance and everybody starts coming late.

Simple to solve

I told Kubota that the next time he was not ready at 6:20 I would turn off my phone and drive away. We have an agreement and his not being ready breaks it. He can find another way to-and-from work or he can quit. NMFP.

The other time he was late was March 18 and he was suffering from cerveza verde influenza and he didn't call me until 7:35. I am not going to sit in his driveway for an hour-and-fifteen minutes. For all I know he decided to spend the night at his girlfriend's or his boss called and told him to take the day off.

This pisses me off. I don't need the aggravation and chaos.

Thanks for letting me vent.

19 comments:

  1. Like you, I do not tolerate people being late when they have agreed to a set time, it is definitely a button pusher, same as the other two you listed.

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  2. I was once told that, "you have to give people permission to take advantage of you". And another told me, "that 92% of our problems are caused by us, the other 8% is up to us how we react to what just happened." Just sayin'.

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    Replies
    1. Hello Beulah:
      What you write is undeniable. We did not land here by accident. The tricky part will be for me to extricate myself in a way that maximizes Kubota's likelihood of connecting dots "Did something. It hurt. QED, what I did was stupid. Don't do it again"

      Delete
  3. I grew up with someone who constantly complained others would be late but they were late; it was clearly a power move to control others schedule and it really bugged me.

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  4. Your welcome.
    Did I mention I have had .5" rain this
    year.
    One pear is blooming, the peaches will fully bloom today.
    The field swallows look like fighter jets while catching their breakfast.
    Life is great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swallows are fun to watch fly.

      Congrats on the rain.

      Delete
  5. I worked for a consulting firm that had very strict meeting rules - mostly about not wasting peoples time; be on time, stick to an agenda, be concise.

    I waddled in 3 minutes late and promptly was called out by the boss - "Mr. Smith, the meeting starts at 8:03, not 8:05, Not 8:10, please be on time"

    Not being ready when someone graciously agreed to give you a ride is a mortal sin. Rude and Disrespectful. It's never happened more than once for me. I"d have beaten on the door and chewed his ass out the whole time he was getting ready.

    A coworker was supposed to pick up the boss one day (He had gotten a DUI and lost his company car). Dude didn't answer. So he goes to knock on the door and found it open. The boss was passed out naked on the couch. We found this out when he showed up late to the weekly tech meeting. I sized him up and said "Where's Frank?", that's when he told me that story. I asked what he did and he said he left him. I said "Wow, what a blown opportunity! I"d have written "Your late" on his forehead with sharpie before leaving"

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  6. I have a motto...I'd rather be thirty minutes early than five minutes late. It was a mantra I instilled in my crews all the time.

    I even get to Dr appointments early. There's always a good chance the person before me is late and I can slide into their spot, often getting done before my scheduled time. I can't seem to get my wife to go along though. She knows how long it's supposed to take to get to her appointment exactly on time. What she doesn't take into account is if we catch every red light on the way, plus the time it takes me to wrestle her wheelchair out of the back of the car.

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  7. Joe, from everything you have shared over time, it sounds like Kubota has a self-respect problem, while Belladonna is quite the opposite. How to best remedy? As an armchair spectator, military service with authority figures that are strangers, in my humble opinion.

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  8. You sir are much more tolerant of poor behavior than I. He would have been finding a way to work today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And my sense of obligation is crippling him. He banks on it.

      Delete
  9. I had the same problem years ago. Another hand on the project lived a few blocks away, his wife needed the car, and it wasn't much out of my way to give him a ride.

    It started with waiting a few minutes, and finally ended when after the few minutes, the curtains in the upstairs bedroom moved, and his wife looked out.

    I left, and never offered a ride again. He could be late, if he wanted, but my job was more important than his obviously disrespectful convenience.

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  10. My wife is one of those 'don't rush me - I'm doing the best I can' BS excuses. If it were last minute, I'd be more sympathetic but when you have a week's notice of an event with a precise time given of when to show up and you don't - then you are doing this on purpose.

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  11. Early is on time
    On time is late
    Late is unforgivable

    ReplyDelete
  12. Replies
    1. Guard NCO to a class I was in many decades ago, and I'm sure this is an exact quote: If you're right on time, you're late.

      Delete
  13. Mathew,
    Early is Early
    On time is on time
    Late is unforgivable
    Dennis the librarian shusher

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know what the psychodoctors say:
    Early is anxious
    On time is neurotic
    Late is aggressive.
    You cannot win.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Being late shows disrespect. When I am late (which I try to avoid) I try to call beforehand to let people know. Especially with those that report to me. If they feel that I don't respect them, how could I expect them to respect those that report to them??

    ReplyDelete

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