Sunday, March 27, 2022

ERJ gives a pedicure


Sometimes it is good to be preemptive in your story telling.

Yes, it is true that I went over to Sprite's place and applied a set of false toe-nails.

No, Mrs ERJ did not go with me.

Yes, she knew and approved.

No, those are not my nails in the photo.

The real story

Sprite sells eggs.

She has a rooster. In recent weeks the rooster had become very aggressive toward her.

The other day she dropped her bucket of eggs as she left the chicken coop because the rooster waits for her to have her back turned and to be stepping out, over the threshold of the sliding door.

After reviewing the options, Sprite decided to super-glue lengths of rubber fuel-hose to the rooster's spurs. His "toe nails" if you prefer.

She needed an extra set of hands to ensure the job was done safely and done well.

The 5/16", rubber fuel-hose was a little bit small but splitting length-wise up one side for a bit fixed that problem.

Gorilla Glue, gel, super-glue was recommended for gluing rubber. The thing about super-glue is that you get one shot at pushing the false nails on and you better be quick about it.

After installation, I trimmed the hose so the points of his spurs were buried about 1/4".

The rooster looked like a cowboy checking out a new set of cowboy boots after we tossed him back into the coop with the girls. The girls looked impressed.

If they stay on, it will be a major win.

I just wanted to tell my side of the story before word gets out that I was super-gluing random items to the neighbor's C-word and that chickens were involved. You know how people like to gossip.

13 comments:

  1. Interesting idea of how to deal with a rooster. Let us know how it works. I just grab him and beat him up and then he won't do it again. Generally works well for all applications --ken

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  2. The neighbor was over and my wife's rooster and flock ambled by. He started on about a friends rooster, how pretty it was... apparently a rather large game-breed of bird, elaborate feathers, robust plumage, etc.
    One day at a picnic I was introduced to the owner:

    Hey man, Gary says you have the biggest prettiest c-*@ he's ever seen. I don’t suppose you got a picture we could show my wife?

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  3. I will be fascinated to hear as well ERJ> Sounds like an interesting concept.

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  4. We used to cut the spurs off when I was a kid, if the rooster got ...cocky

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  5. This is a side of you, that, quite frankly would rather not know... I didn't know there was a rubber hose fetish with male chickens.

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  6. We have a couple of roosters, but they're Bantams. Small and beautiful, but not the biggest cocks around.

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  7. I thought this kind of story starts with:
    "Dear Henhouse, no one was more surprised than I...."

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  8. Joe, you ignoramus! Gorilla glue is a hair product…😂👍

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    Replies
    1. Imagine my surprise to be wandering through a store and find Gorilla Snot in the hair-care aisle. How did they make _that_ mistake? Oh, that does say it's for hair. And the artwork on the bottle looked like it belonged with another company's products. Having seen that myself, I am a lot less inclined to assign all of the stupidity to the user of the wrong product. Missing clues about things being in the wrong place, yes. Not questioning, yes. Had no-one in the marketing or focus groups ever been in a hardware aisle?

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  9. That last paragraph...::chef's kiss:: Bravo, sir.

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