Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Surviving Thanksgiving

"Safe" topics for Thanksgiving conversations:

  • University of Nebraska's Women's volleyball team
  • Michigan State University's search for a head football coach
  • The high lysine content of oatmeal
  • Dried mushroom as an economical source of umami flavors in cooking
  • The superiority of fresh herbs (rosemary, mint, oregano, sage...) in cooking
  • The wisdom in the belief that "There is a season for everything"
  • Long monologues on your quest for the optimum pressure for the tires on your mountain bike (reserved for bores). Bonus points for taking more than twenty minutes to describe the scandium fiber-reinforced, welded carbon joints of the frame of your OLD bike.
  • "I might have COVID and I just took a double-dose of Nyquil...I can barely stay awake..." Also good for bores.
  • Detailed comparisons between the 6.5mm Creedmoor and the .270 Winchester's ability to buck cross-winds at 800 yards.
  • Ask how many Tattoos the other person has. Then, after hearing the answer, ask "How many danged dwarfs do you need to have shout "De plane! De plane!!!"." Bonus points for observing how tramp-stamps resemble the handlebars on choppers.
  • Randomly start singing lyrics from songs from 1969.  "Build me up, Buttercup baby..."
  • Favorite Youtube channels. Stick to humor. Shaun the Sheep and Charlie Barron's channels, for instance. "Reaction" videos are acceptable Example.
  • Favorite Far Side comics (Gary Larson).
  • The enduring appeal of Scotch Tape.
  • Marvel at how 16th century Italian opera was SO far ahead of their time, castrating boys so they could sing soprano their entire, natural lives in spite of biological programming. On second thought, maybe not. 

Being boring is not a liability. It is a feature.


  1. Additions:

    Probable location of the Entwives in Middle Earth

    If Takeda Shingen had not been killed in 1573, could he have beaten Oda Nobunaga? If so, what would have been the impact on the Unification of Japan?

    Could the Jacobite Rebellions (1688-1746) ever have actually succeeded?

    Follow me for more Thanksgiving conversation tips!

  2. If you need to create some space around you, singing anything from "An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer" will probably do the trick. Another option is one of your parent's novelty songs you found in the pile of 78s - such as "Brazen Little Raisin", a touching ballad about a young grape that spent too much time in the sun, or the impossible to categorize "New Ashmolean Marching Society and Student's Conservatory Band". These, oddly enough, are both available on a popular streaming platform...

  3. "Did your seventh jab feel the same as the first?"
    "What are they charging for heart medicine nowadays?"
    "It's cool they started putting defibralators in schools! Finally, rieeit?"
    "On the political spectrum, I'm somewhere in Kenya circa 1953"
    "That turkey looks like a guinea hen, is there a shoulder of beef around here somewhere?"
    "Those shoes look great, how far can you run in them?"

  4. Excellent list, although I wonder if any topic with the word "women" in it is truly safe.

  5. Sure I will have another beer, Joe!

    Now as I was saying, the 6.5 Creed is ten pounds of chit in a 5 pound bag. It does nothing that the Euroweiner 6.5x55 can't do as well -


    Hic.... ;



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