Deer Hunting non-update

Be ungovernable

Part of not being complicit in the metastasizing State is to not feed the beast.

That can mean configuring your life to minimize the taxes that you pay.

It can also mean not providing the State with any information that might be used against you at a later date. Remember the story of Jesus's birth? His parents were traveling to Bethlehem for a census...so Rome could figure out the maximum level of taxes and conscripts they could extract.

The performance of the State during Covid only confirmed the most pessimistic opinions about what the State will stoop to when they have information and power.

We mock the home-boy who posts pictures of his pistol and drugs and wads of cash on social media. And then we post pictures of the animals we slayed and brag about how much food we put in our pantries. Is there much of a difference?

Consequently, should I be fortunate enough to harvest a deer, I will not be documenting that fact on this blog.

Deer season

I have been asked how it is that I manage to go deer hunting in spite of my firearm having been lost in that canoeing accident near Battle Ground, Indiana.

The answer is that I use a little-know method called "Uglying them to Death". This method was widely practiced in the days of market hunting but was strongly discouraged in the years when deer were scarce.

It involves jumping out of the blind and making an ugly face at the animal you want to harvest.

Deer are timid creatures. The sudden appearance of the hunter causes damage to their hearts and they fall over dead.

There are limitations to the method. It must be light enough that the animal can get a good look at your face. You must ensure that your target animal is looking in your direction but that all of the non-target animals are looking away.

Another limitation of the Ugly-them-to-death method is the impracticality of jumping out of a tree blind or an elevated blind.

The final limitation is that not every hunter can use this method. Mrs ERJ cannot. She is totally unsuited for this method in the face department, if you get my drift.

Rumor has it that all references to this method as a legal-method-of-take were eliminated from DNR literature because of the FIBPACs (Friendly Illinois Buckaroos Pulling a Camper) who started coming to Michigan to hunt.

The meat processors were the first to complain. They started getting carcasses that when they opened them up, the meat and entrails poured out all over the floor like ten gallons of tomato soup and they were left holding a skeleton and a bag of skin.

It took a while to put two-and-two together. Finally, somebody figured out that the friendly buckaroos from Chicago were so naturally endowed for this method of hunting that they were tearing up the meat something terrible.

I keep this story in mind while hunting. Just because your scope can dial up to 9X does not mean that is the best setting for every-day hunting. Just because I have the equivalent of a .577 T-Rex face for this kind of hunting does not mean I have to turn up all of the wattage.

If you attempt this method, I suggest you start with small animals at close range. As with all hunting, be aware of items in the background that you don't want to damage. Be particularly aware of plate-glass windows. Not only are they fragile but they are reflective and you might be hurt by the ricochet effect of your reflection.

As always, Your Mileage Will Vary.