Monday, April 7, 2014

Heat Death of the Universe

There is much speculation regarding the heat death of our current universe.

The consensus on most college campuses is that over time the universe will become a colder and colder place.  This consensus is constructed on two major observations:
  1. Doppler shift of light from the most distant edges of the universe suggest that it was still expanding at a great rate of speed when those distant celestial bodies emitted that light.  Matter that expands, like gasses in an engines chamber or in a shotgun barrel, cools.
  2. Empirical evidence of mass transport out of our universe and into, presumably, parallel universes.  Classic examples of mass export include black socks disappearing inside of clothes driers (aka, mass teleporters), silverware evaporating inside homes with small children and frying spam.  Incidentally, the original Atom Bomb involved frying spam until it shrank down to anti-matter.  It was a great plan but it took 30 hours to detonate.
A small but vocal minority claim that there is an GreaterThan-and-opposite mass import that negates the effects of both the control volume expansion and the mass export. They point to all of the college students who consume 12 ounces of adult beverage and produce 36 ounces of.....ah, output.

I want to add evidence to support the small, vocal minority.  College students are pikers compared to German Shepherd pups.  Zeus demonstrated the ability to lap up two ounces of milk and produce four ounces of golden liquid in ten different, difficult to reach places.

If you wake up 17 quadrillion years from now and do not need to turn up the thermostat, you can thank Zeus.

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