Tuesday, April 7, 2020

I spent the night with my mom

Vincent van Gogh did not cut off his ear to impress his lover.

Nope. van Gogh's lover hand-made him a face mask with short elastic straps and van Gogh wore it to impress his lover. The strap cut his ear off.

The powers-that-be determined that we need to wear face masks when working with mom. They cheerfully churned out twenty-four face masks.

They are an abomination.
Facial hair is incompatible with face masks. Sucks to be a Kardashian
I pointed out that the material was as impermeable as a plastic grocery bag and the non-stretchy material pooched and large voids bled moist breath up, behind my glasses, fogging them.

I commented that the mask might stop droplets but aerosol would leak through wholesale.

And the Power-that-be informed me that Covid does not spread by aerosol and aerosol and droplets are two completely different things.

I did not argue. I said "Who knew?" marveling at their vast font of knowledge. That is the thing about family. Trying to "fix" them just results in scar tissue.

The Power shared with me that she no longer watched TV or went on the internet news sites because it was too depressing. Perhaps the information that sneeze aerosol and droplets are different was put in her head at birth.

I wore the mask. Mom doesn't need to think I am trying to kill her.

I sincerely hope we don't lose any more caretakers because of stupid "rules" demanding that they wear face masks of dubious effectiveness.

***

I can see that many people will choose to stay home rather than go out into public wearing recycled Hello Kitty pillow cases over their face. For one thing, some of will be passing out due to the lack of oxygen as we attempt to gulp enough air through the starched fabric.

Like the old joke...do you know what it means when you wake up gasping your wife's name? It means she didn't  hold the pillow over your face long enough.

5 comments:

  1. Ah yes... Unbelievers... or ignorers... They ARE out there!

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  2. The masks are a social etiquette.
    And a placebo.

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  3. Ive been wearing a new bandana, like a bank robber in an old Western...think it's more effective than any surgical mask I ever wore when I was in veterinary school or practice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love Kardashian jokes.

    Well done.

    ReplyDelete
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