Humor
A young man from a small town in Michigan went to the University of Michigan. He was the first person from his very small high school to attain that honor.
He was sitting in a vast room with hundreds and hundreds of other Freshmen when the Dean of the College addressed them.
"I have a huge interest in the paranormal" the Dean said. "I ask every incoming Freshmen class these questions..."
"First, I want every one of you to stand up" the Dean told them.
"I want those of you who believe in ghosts to remain standing and everybody else to sit down" the Dean continued.
The young man was surprised when a third of the class sat down.
"Those of you who have ever SEEN ghosts, I want you to remain standing and the rest of you to sit down" the Dean said.
The young man was even more surprised when only about 10% of the class remained standing.
"Those of you who have TOUCHED a ghost, I want you to remain standing" the Dean said.
The young man was starting to get nervous. There were only three others who remained standing and the Dean was visibly excited.
"Those of you who have made love to a ghost, remain standing..."
The young man looked around and realized that he was the only one still standing and the Dean was beside himself with excitement.
"Young man. Come up here! I have been asking those questions for 40 years and you are the first one to remain standing for the last question."
Quite awkwardly, the young man worked his way to the aisle and then walked up to the dais with 599 sets of eyes on his back.
"Can you tell me, young man, could you tell how long the ghost had been dead?" the Dean asked.
The young man's face flushed. "Ghost? I thought you said "GOATS"!"
Scooby Doo and Ghosts
Quicksilver is suddenly interested in ghosts. She gets worked-up and is hard to settle for her nap.
Today I told her that it cost a lot of money to feed ghosts. I told her that if we got a ghost we would have to get rid of Zeus because we couldn't afford to feed both of them.
We will see how long that works.
Zeus would probably like to have a goat to play with.
ReplyDeleteHow did she hear about ghost? Was it a scary tale? When she finds out ghosts don't eat what then? You told a lie? Why not tell her about Casper the friendly ghost. My sometime cleaning lady is a firm believer in ghosts and is deathly afraid them. Thinks they are evil. She sat for our animals for 3 days. Gave her the spare bedroom upstairs but she wouldn't go up at night because of the ghosts that I never knew I had.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how she found out about ghosts.
DeleteThey eat our serenity. No, I did not lie.
Try painting your ceiling blue. Ghosts and haints can't fly over water and they are direction challenged. They see the blue ceiling and think it is water, or so they say.
Ghosts cause problems, they don't train worth a shit, they're rebellious, can cause insomnia, they can adversely affect the resale value of your property . People can get hurt reacting to them, better hope they're not into "moving" things, they're rarely friendly and better not let yer homeowners insurance find out about them. You have NO idea how hard it is to get certified ghost free! The wife and I were real estate appraisers in So. Cal. from '02 to '09, when the crash pushed us out.
ReplyDeleteThink I forgot, they're scary.
I will have baby goats ready for you to buy or visit this Spring ERJ!
ReplyDeleteThat is a very generous offer.
DeleteWillard Fox, an old farmer, once told me that a farmer should never own any livestock that is smarter than he is.
"That means that most farmers shouldn't raise hogs, goats or horses" according to him.
Southern Belle IS interested in a couple of goats to clear brush at her place. They could be culls and they would do just-fine.