Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Dad report

Dad is going through a tough patch.

I am a pessimist about these things. I predicted my grandmother's demise a dozen times before "it" happened.

Dad isn't keeping food or liquids down. Originally, I hoped it was the stomach virus going around. More than ten days have passed and vomiting occurs sooner after eating/drinking so it wasn't the virus.

The other thing that happened is that the wheels are came off the bus, support wise.

Players panicked and left their swim-lanes. One of my siblings, stunned by dad's progression, scooped him up and took him to a specialist. It can be good to have connections.

The specialist diagnosed dad as having stage 6-to-7 Dementia. The specialist changed dad's suite of medicines, including adding one that has the temporary side effects of dizziness and nausea.

Dad's wishes were very clear. He wanted to stay in his house. He does not want to be institutionalized. He DOES NOT want to go to the hospital.

I have been getting over them most days, more to support mom than anything. She is caught in the middle of this and is aware of much of the tension, magnitude if not specifics.

As a consequence, I am distracted. If dad's health trajectory continues to arc downward, he won't be inhabiting his body in a week.

One consequence for you as readers is that the blog content will be inconsistent. I will be posting to the blog as self-help therapy and as a distraction from other things. That will include a few snippets of fiction but I don't hold any hope of them coalescing into a coherent story-line.


  1. Back straight, shoulders square good son. Bless you.

  2. Best wishes. Hard times. Prayer and God's blessings to you and yours.

  3. BTDT. Trust that you can hold one one day longer than the crisis will last. You can, amigo. You're a stress deflector not a stress aggregator.

  4. Stand tall.

    You owe us nothing, but the explanation is nice...not required, but nice.

    Deal with your family issues.
    We will be here when you have time.

    If we can help, I think you only need ask.


  5. Joe, our reading activities have no place in the vastly more important echelon of you and yours supporting your parents. Our thoughts are with you, carry on for your dad and mom, blessings be on your family. I hope things take a turn for the better really soon.

  6. Prayers the Good Lord gives you strength and comfort during this trying time. God Bless you for your steadfast devotion.

  7. Prayers the Good Lord gives you strength and comfort during this trying time. God Bless you for your steadfast devotion.

  8. What B said, especially about owing us nothing.
    My sisters and brother, 1200 miles away, are quite unexpectedly going through a similar process with our mother. December has been a difficult month for her for over a decade, since our father passed in a December. Prayers to you.

  9. My prayers for your strength and wisdom, and for peace for your parents.

    May God's will be done.

  10. "Dad's wishes were very clear. He wanted to stay in his house. He does not want to be institutionalized. He DOES NOT want to go to the hospital."

    That quote brought back some *harsh* feelings. One of my regrets that will NEVER go away. Honor thy Father and thy Mother.

    I, too am praying for your strength and wisdom and trust in the Lord. PEACE.

    1. That is an incredibly tough situation.

      Calling 9-1-1 is to lose control of the situation, a consequence that is not immediately obvious when your parent is hurting.

      Once the EMT is inside your door, Best Practices pretty much take decisions out of your hands.

      Again, it is brutally hard to watch somebody hurting and to not do anything more than hold their hand and pray out loud.

  11. Mr Joe, I went through the same back in 2007 when both my parents passed within four months of each other. I was a nurse and so I took over care of my parents and even through all the heartache and frustrations and setbacks it was a rewarding time, as far as 20/20 hindsight. I was able to care for my parents with five other siblings and grew much closer then I ever figured I could. My parents saw me through birth and I was able see them through death, the circle continues. Mr.Joe, you are going through one of the hardest thing a caring son, or daughter can do, take care of a gravely ill parent. As others expressed their sorrow and grief for your task, know prayers and help are there for you and you may not be aware of it now, you will be stronger for it. My God Bless you and yours, for you are surely a saint.

  12. Prayers for you and the family. This is never easy.

  13. My words are inadequate, so you have my prayers.

  14. Tend to the important stuff. We ain't it.

    Prayers for all y'all.

  15. Just put in a prayer, obvious thoughts on this.

  16. Triage, Mr. Joe, triage.

    As you demonstrated understanding of, our reading appetites are likely on the order of "Priority Four" in The Triage Of Life. Family is Priority One.

    My own mother is well along in years, and her memory is not up to performance standards. Visiting her is a two hour drive, a drive to da City, and is a pain in my ass.

    As The Noted Moral Philosopher And Righteous Living Guru, Trace Atkins, noted, "You're going to miss this!"

    A thought that keeps me driving, and squelches my own whining.

    Good on'ya for doing you duty, to yourself and to your parents.


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