Wednesday, March 12, 2014


A city girl was going on vacation.  Much to the surprise of her sophisticated friends, she chose to spend two weeks in Eaton County, Michigan.

Her friends asked her, "Why?"

She told them that she wanted to visit a county fair, see the sights, eat some elephant ears.  But most of all, she wanted to rope and ride herself a country boy.  You see, she was a bit of a wild thing and she had heard that country boys were something special.

All of her friends showed up at her apartment the night she came back. They planned on getting the skinny on those country boys.

They asked her, "Tell us about your vacation.  Was it as good as you expected?"

She hemmed and hawed a little bit.  She said she had seen people doing tricks with animals that amazed her.  She said that tractor pulls were loud and elephant ears were a delicacy.

"No!" the friends said.  "Tell us about riding those country boys.  How was it???"

"Well" she said.  "I was going to do that.  I even had the first three or four picked out.  But then I chickened out."

Her friends were flabbergasted.  This was a girl who did not chicken out over anything.  Did I mention she was a bit of a wild thing?

"What?  How can that be?" they exclaimed.

"Well, it is like I told you.  I had them all picked out but then I started looking them over a little more closely.  Every one of them was carrying a condom in his back pocket and they were THIS big around.  Like I said, I chickened out."


The pockets on my jeans are the first things to wear out.  I carry stuff in my pockets.

Picture taken after patches applied to insides of pockets

I usually carry a stout pocket knife in my right rear pocket and change in my left rear pocket.  I do not dip, so you will not see a three inch diameter ring nor will you see a wallet print.

Today one of my projects was to take the four neediest pairs of jeans and to apply iron-on patches to the insides of the rear pockets.

I had holes in my pockets.  Change was falling out.  I would reach for my knife and it would either not be there or would be half dangling out of my pocket.  That had potential for extreme embarrassment because I am forgetful and do not always remember to take my "weapon" out of my pocket before visiting school property.

I really wish I could buy inexpensive jeans that had stouter pockets.  Perhaps pockets of ballistic nylon or a heavy polyester twill or duck.

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