Monday, March 17, 2014

Hypochondria

It is exam week for Belladonna.

She frequently goes over to a friend's house to study.  It is quieter than our house.  Both the friend and the mom are students.

Her friend's mother wanted to improve her life, so she quit her job and took out student loans to go back to school to become a med tech or nurse.  The improvement in life was immediate.  The entire family got cell phone upgrades and Belladonna's friend has a car to drive.

Belladonna is a bit resentful of our inability to manage money as well as her friend's mother.  Mrs ERJ and I were both working full time and we could not afford cellphone upgrades nor would we get Belladonna a vehicle for her sole use.

Nevertheless, it is a quieter, calmer place to study.

Hypochondria


The meat of this post is that the mom is a hypochondriac.  That would not bother me much except that Belladonna is now using the mom as her primary source of medical information.

I can tell what the mom is studying based on the latest, dire disease that Belladonna insists that she must be checked out for.  Two months ago Belladonna was diagnosed by the mom as being bipolar.  Last month Belladonna was diagnosed as having internal parasites.

I am pretty sure they are studying the immune system this month.  Belladonna informed me that she has Stage III cancer.  The basis for this diagnosis is that Belladonna has two enlarged lymph nodes beneath her ears.

I would laugh this crap off, except Belladonna is really starting to fixate on this stuff.  Mrs ERJ told me to get Belladonna a doctor's appointment.  Women take lumps seriously.

I pisses me off that I have to drop $114 on an office visit to have my favorite curmudgeon (who DID graduate from Medical School) tell Belladonna that enlarged lymph nodes simply means that her body is doing what it is supposed to do:  Fight off microbiological challenges.

I shudder to think of what I will hear when the mom is studying the reproductive system.

From the Merck Veterinary Manual:


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