## Thursday, April 9, 2015

### Six grams of fat. Right!

Today was a busy day.  We picked up Kubota's friend, Redneck and drove to Toledo.

We took in the interactive science museum, Imagination Station.

Then we drove a couple of miles south on Ohio-25 and visited the Toledo zoo and aquarium.

We just got back home (21:30).

The boys were watching movies in the back of the van while I drove.  The plot line involved a bunch of young pups and some grizzled, old Navy veterans bringing the battleship, USS Missouri,  on-line one last time to defeat a particularly pesky bunch of space aliens.

Mrs ERJ was riding shotgun.  She decided to take a nap rather than compete with the movie.

The boys hollered at me when I tried to turn on the radio, so I did mental math to stay awake.

#### Six Grams of Fat

I was reminded of one of the major fast food outlets that advertises healthy food.  They had a sign at nearly every exit on I-94.  One of their prime advertising points is that they have many menu items with six grams (or less) of fat.

I calculated the actual grams of fat in my head.

Please keep in mind that a reasonable target for total, daily "grams-of-fat" is your (ideal body weight in pounds) divided by 2.  My ideal body weight is approximately 160 pounds.  A reasonable target for my daily consumption of fat is approximately 80 grams.  If you live in a country that is metric, simply take your ideal body weight in kg....and that is the number of grams you should use as the basis for your fat budget.

#### Theory vs. Reality

The fine print tells the buyer that the "six grams of fat" is for a six inch (1/2) sandwich on plain bread.  The fine print also tells the buyer that the cheese and condiments are "extra", that is, over and above the six grams of fat.

#### Half sandwiches

I have two teenagers.  I haul them and their friends around.  I feed them.  I hereby vouch and affirm that a "half" sandwich is a mythical creature that does not exist in a universe populated by teenagers.

The six grams of fat instantly doubles to 12 grams of fat.

The kids either get flatbread or the Monterey Cheese bread.  Both of those breads have 8 more grams of fat than the plain bread.  The six grams of fat is now 20 grams of fat.

#### Cheese

The restaurant graciously informs the diner that each slice of American Process Cheese Food adds 1.75 grams of fat.  There are 4 per full sandwich.  That adds another 7 grams of fat for a total of 27 grams of fat (1/4 of my daily budget).  Just for the record, the APCF is the least fatty of the cheeses offered.  APCF achieves its meltability via gelatin, not fat.

#### Condiments

The ERJ Unified Theory of Social Evolution contends that technicians who assemble sandwiches integrate and embody the cultural norms of the clientele they serve.  In other words, they do what makes their customers happy.

The more experienced assemblers will error slightly on the "light" side as it is much easier to add more than to remove excess.  The less experienced assemblers will blast out what they believe to be the Golden Mean.  Usually, they receive no complaints.

In Eaton Rapids, the "Golden Mean" for mayo appears to be four beads of mayo each with a diameter of 9mm and a length of 10" or 11".  Please remember that I have been reloading hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of 9mm Parabellum rounds so I have a very good idea of what a 9mm diameter cylinder look like.

Mayonnaise is 70% fat.  Assuming that is 70% by volume then the mayo adds another 40 grams of fat.

Adding the twenty-seven grams and the forty grams of fat takes me to sixty-seven grams of fat, or 80% of my daily fat budget.  For one meal.  For one sandwich.  That was supposed to be healthy.  That you would claim only had six grams of fat.

#### Alternatives

Some sandwich choices rarely get mayo....our single worst offender for + fat.  Examples include
• Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki
• Meatball Marinara
The Sweet Onion Teriyaki bases at 9 grams of fat per full sandwich.  This is the clear winner as long as the buyer does not add mayo, ranch, oil....or other condiments beyond the Sweet Onion.

The Meatball Marinara bases at 36 grams of fat per full sandwich.  That is almost half of my fat budget but it is still slightly better than 80%.

Best regards,

-ERJ