We have two dry-erase boards in the hallway that leads
to the bedrooms. One belongs to the
parents. The other belongs to the kids.
I found myself in an overflow situation and spilled
over onto the kid’s whiteboard. The
topic on the kid’s board was “Future blog posts”.
The kid’s thought I was soliciting their advice and
they accommodated me.
Belladonna’s Awesome Athletic Prowess
I make a conscious effort to not write much about my
kid’s sports endeavors. I want their
efforts and successes to be their’s and their’s alone. I also want to avoid being one of those whiny
parents when the rest of the world does not recognize their child's awesomeness.
Bella is playing basketball. She is a senior but has not been a
starter. This rankled her a bit but I
see it as a huge life lesson.
The vast majority of any organization is made up of the
rank-and-file. If we are heroes, it is
mostly in our own minds. Hence, the
enduring appeal of Walter Mitty.
Very, very few people in any organization are “the
chosen”. It is a very narrow gate to
become one of the chosen. One must be
from the right family, have gone to the right schools, joined the correct
fraternal organizations, be considered politically "reliable"…and so on.
Early in life every kid is a star. Every kid in rec-league ball gets a
medal. Life becomes progressively more
competitive as we get older.
But what to do?
Bella’s play early in the season did not have the
“snap” I know she is capable of. I think
it was a matter of despondency…a sense of fatalism. It did not matter what she did, she was never
going to be a starter.
I talked with a family friend who is an awesome coach
and came up with a plan.
I pay her a dollar for each rebound. I pay her a dollar for every turn-over she
forces. And, after much thought, I pay
her a dollar for each foul she gets.
Visualize an M-1 Abram’s tank playing basketball
amidst 9 unicycles. That is Bella. Inexplicable things happen to the other
players around her. Her teammates know
this and give her a wide berth.
Belladonna boxed out for a rebound and three girls on
the opposing team either fell over or were pushed out of bounds.
An opposing player tried to push through Bella’s
weakside arm from behind to get better position. The arm bent like the arm of a midevil
catapult, and then sprung. The girl
found herself sitting down 8 feet behind Bella with a very surprised expression
on her face. This player was the most
massive player on the opposing team. And
Bella did it with pure shoulder strength.
The officials see the swath of players flipped like
tiddly-winks and inexplicably falling down.
They assume Bella is moving into them or pushing them.
It is inevitable that Belladonna will get many fouls if
she is playing up to her potential.
Bella ended up fouling out of the last game. One of those fouls was real, she leaped to
block a shot and got the shooter’s arms.
The other four were based on circumstantial, forensic evidence.
A person who is afraid to do their job cannot do their
job.
Bella plays with a new sense of purpose. I ended up paying her $15 between rebounds,
turn-overs and fouls. That is a good
haul for coming off the bench.
That might be the final life-lesson: Finding strategies to feed our own, personal,
heroic epic…even if “the organization” does not consider us one of the chosen.
Yep, motivation DOES work! :-)
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