Saturday, July 5, 2014

Armchair Commandos

I read the posts of the Billy Badasses and Bobby Braggarts with interest.  Let me be clear that I am not referring anybody on the right sidebar of this blog.  I am talking about that guy at work or or the guy who has a designated stool at the local bar.  They are very confident that they will shoot all of the bad guys "after the balloon goes up."

I also admit that I have the usual quota of testosterone.  No more.  No less.  I am as vulnerable to those fantasies as the next guy.

But those fantasies get kicked in the teeth when you cannot protect your chickens, whether deceased by your own dogs or by opportunistic omnivors.

If I am not capable of fending off my own pooch or an animal with an IQ of 23 (or in the case of a possum, an IQ of 0.23) then how can I make a credible case for fending off a determined, human attacker?

There are extenuating circumstances, of course.  Our house is a much harder target than the dog run.  But the point that is buried, and not examined often enough, is that the passive features that make our house a hard target contribute far more to our safety than do the active features.  What good is an GAK-47000, heat-seaking, high-explosive, monometal, full-automatic, 8 speed with overdrive, wireless, crew served, belt fed hand gun if you are not awake to bring it to bear?

Another point is that the raccoons and possum have always been out there.  They were not a problem until they decided to change their dietary habits.  How will we know when the "bad guys" decide to change their habits?  We wish a balloon will go up.  I doubt that it will be that clear cut.

Human behaviors are guided more by social conventions and internalized barriers than by externalities.  Anybody who has attempted to fence in animals knows this.  Electric fences contain animals under threat of pain.  For the most part, they do not physically constrain animals.  Any animal that wants to badly enough can slip through an electric fence.

I like firearms more than the average guy.  They are but one stave in the barrel.  All of the barrel's staves must be true to contain the liquid.


OPSEC prevents me from going into great detail about the passive features I incorporated into my plan.  However, you might want to call ahead if you plan on visiting the ERJ ranch.  Call ahead, that is, unless you are wearing gloves that are rated for 240V.

And you wondered why I have steel tread-plate for a welcome mat.

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