Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Urban Dictionary

One of the risks of highlighting a website is that you may find out that you were the last person in the universe to learn about it.  That is a risk I am willing to take.

Sometimes it seems as if young people are speaking a language that only vaguely resembles English.  Not surprisingly, they use this jargon so they can communicate with each other while not revealing information to adults.

Of course, as adults, that is exactly when we most need to be able to decode their messages.

The Urban Dictionary is a useful resource to translate teen  jargon into English.  Be forewarned that many of the terms are highly sexual and/or wickedly cruel.  In fact, those are the very reasons why our kids revert to "code".

The Urban Dictionary uses a wiki approach.  Users define the terms.  Readers rate the definitions.  The most highly rated definitions become the current definition.

A few examples:

scene kid = boy/girl. usually seen wearing neon colors w/ black. leopard and/or zebra print obsessed. hair colored at least 2 different colors and cut at different angles. male scene kids usually try to attain over 500 friends on myspace and post pictures up of themselves making out with other boys. female scene kids just ADORE neon colored eye shadow and wear one thousand layers of eyeliner. hair of both sexes is usually parted to the side.
tool = One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used. A fool. A cretin. Characterized by low intelligence and/or self-steem.
"That tool dosen't even know she's just using him"
rachet = A diva, mostly from urban cities and ghettos, that has reason to believe she is every mans eye candy. Unfortunately, she's wrong.

Typical signs to beware of include, but are not limited to:
-owning a Blackberry
-BLARES anything by Drake, 2Chainz, Nicki Minaj, Gucci Mane, Waka Flocka, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Cali Swag District, or any other garbage entertainment rapper
-rowdily quotes "lyrics" from aforementioned artists
-has a weave reminiscent of a bird's nest after a tempest hit the tree it was in, and is dyed at least thrice
-wears torn leggings/stalkings (mostly of the fishnet variety), unpolished 8" heels (or higher, depending on how God-awful they look), fitted jean jackets (to accent the blubber 'round their arms and stomach), and 4 layers of caked on make-up to go clubbing
-repeatedly use ludicrous terms such as "YOLO", "swag", "boost", "beaking", "doe", "really", "naw", "actually", "twerk", "coaster", "dagga", etc., to make a valid statement when they speak
-have side bangs, despite having incredibly small-ass foreheads to support them
-are commonly overweight
and are mind-numbingly stupid; a safe assumption to make would be saying they're uneducated (as if they could pass the 4th grade)

If spotted, please report to the authorities, notifying them that they are possible smack addicts, or potential, degenerate Chaka Khan look-alikes.
Imagine a woman that wears skinny clothes, bad looking heels & fishnet stalkings, blasts Drake or Waka off her phone, would go out of her way as to cop CD's from these artists, has a bad hairdo, looks immensely disgusting as a human being, and would rather spend her time maintaining her looks, communicating among her folk, and being a jobless, gold-digging bum for the rest of her days, not even bothering to get herself a good shower, a paying career, and a damned effort to earn a diploma.

That, my comrades, is a prime notoriety of a ratchet.

God help us all.
 If that does not paint a picture in your head then nothing will.

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