Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Lead Free Ammo

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the American buying public.  Attributed to Mencken

California, a state that fancies itself to be the nation's trend setter is in the process of outlawing lead based bullets.  Various thinkers offered their views on the subject.   I want to offer mine.

There is no force on earth that is harder to stop than a stupid people who are sure they are right.  Forces can be harnessed and put to good use.  Since I did not win the most recent MegaMillions lottery, I propose that stupid people make themselves useful by putting some money in my pocket.

A few of the details are still taking shape, but I am allowed to divulge the following technical details of the ERJ Lead-Free Ammo:

  • Very Low Drag. 
  • Lead free (Duh!)
  • Collet-and-Collar design to ensure rapid-and-reliable expansion
  • Fingers of collett are recycled, depleted-uranium from Iraq
  • Collar is Austenitic 301 Stainless Steel
  • All metal parts are silver plated to enhance effectiveness against were-beasts
  • Special penetrator machined from Wexford County (Michigan) Northern White Ash is inserted into the collett to enhance effectiveness against vampires and others species that continue to vote after reaching ambient temperature.  In a pinch the penetrator can function as a golf tee.
  • Ultra-High Molecular Weight Polyanything sabot to make cleaning the bore a snap.  Just throw the barrel into an incinerator and all forensic evidence is vaporized
Preliminary testing shows excessive penetration of thin skinned targets so the geometry of the collar is being tweaked before ERJ Lead Free ammo is released to the public.

Photo from here.

Anticipated retail price is expected to be $870 per round.  Remember, if you are lucky, you get what you pay for.

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