Fortunately, I had witnesses

Witnesses AND physical evidence.

Once upon a time I worked with a man we shall call "Marty".

Marty would dally with women he was not married to.  This annoyed his wife.

She was jealous and had a nose like a Weimaranar.  Somehow, she always knew.

And then, Marty told me, he figured it out.  Whenever he had something to hide he would fill his vehicle with gasoline and make sure to spill some on his left pant leg.  He said it was important to top off the tank because that is something that verifies the story.

As soon as he walked through the door his wife smelled the gas and directed him to the shower.  Problem solved.

I shared that story with Mrs ERJ.

And today...
The new truck did not start in the parking lot after coffee.  A couple of the guys there are mechanics and they quickly deduced that I had a fuel filter problem.  The motor would start, flare up and then die.  You could hear the fuel pump running from beneath the vehicle. 

It is pretty hard to change a fuel filter in a parking lot without getting some gasoline dribbled on you.

Fortunately I have witnesses.  The two guys had a ball bossing me around.

And the new truck is running again.