Joe decided to sneak into his dad's liquor cupboard and have a toot. Then he added water to bring the level back up to where it was.
After waiting a week, to see if he had been caught, Joe decided to have couple of snorts. He mixed it with orange juice and milk-of-magnesia to make a Philip's Screwdriver.
To cover the evidence of his depredations on the bottle of vodka, Joe added more water.
After Mike wobbled his way home, Joe topped the bottle off with water and put it back in his father's liquor cabinet.
The next week, Joe's parents went to work a concession stand at the church picnic. Mike brought over Lisa and Diane, a couple of VERY friendly girls. Half-way through the party, Joe had to add water to the bottle that was more than half empty. Joe herded Mike and the two middle-school girls out the back door when his parents came home early. He barely had enough time to add enough water to bring the bottle from the half-empty mark to full and put it back into the cabinet.
Three days later...
Three days later, Joe was trying to frighten a raccoon away from the family pet's food dish.
The raccoon sunk its needle-sharp teeth into the web of Joe's left hand.
Joe's dad, not being the kind of man to waste money on frivolous wants, took care of cleaning out the wound. He used the bottle of cheap vodka he kept for exactly that purpose. Joe's dad was very impressed that Joe did not even wince as he sluiced out the puncture wounds with the 40% alcohol.
Joe died six months later. Doctors were astounded. Death by rabies is extraordinarily rare in developed countries where everybody knows the risks.
We used to skim a shot from this bottle, a shot from that one... gawd how did we ever swallow the stuff, I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteAn example so simple even I get it. Thanks ERJ.
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