Friday, December 23, 2016

ERJ Weight Loss Advice

Weigh yourself in the middle of the day.
Weigh yourself first thing, the very next morning.  Shazam!  I lost 17.4 pound overnight.
Subtract the two numbers and write that number on the calendar.

At the end of the week, add up all of your weight loss.

That is the number you tell your nosy family and co-workers at the Holiday parties.

Weight losses of fifty pounds in five days are possible (especially if you are fond of work boots!) 

It is safe. 

You are not lying.

Even Oprah does it.  If you accumulated all of her lifetime weight loss, she would be composed of 150 pounds of antimatter.  Based on the interactions she has with guests (who are comprised of traditional matter) and the fact that the western hemisphere is not a smoldering crater I can assure you that she is not composed of antimatter.

Enjoy your parties.

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