Jesus said to his disciples:
"If your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.
If he does not listen,
take one or two others along with you,
so that 'every fact may be established
on the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church.
If he refuses to listen even to the church,
then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. -Matthew Chapter 18
One of my beefs with social-media is that it warps the way we think.
Our brains are continuously rewiring based on the environment. If we are frequently hungry "the hardware" changes its processing order so cues like "food aromas" are at the top of the stack. It seems likely that our ability to rewire slows as we age. Our environment as a youth becomes a straight-jacket that is difficult for our brains to escape from in our later years.
Social-media's reward metric is engagement: The number of looks. The number of comments. The number of reposts.
Drama and outrage are easily manufactured and produce a lot of engagement. Vast, thundering herds of people are having their brains hard-wired to produce drama and outrage as a default.
Drama and outrage are toxic to resolving problems in meat-space. Drama and outrage are toxic to relationships. Gasoline and open-flame come to mind.
Sometimes issues pop-up in public venues. I urge you to adjourn to a private place (if it is safe for both of you) to discuss the matter without an audience.
If somebody approaches you and attempts to recruit you with drama-and-outrage, I think your Biblical duty is to first determine if they made a good-faith effort to resolve it one-on-one. If they skipped that step or the second step then politely tell them you don't want to be used as a blunt instrument to bludgeon the other party.
The advice found in the New Testament has not been improved upon in the last 2000 years and it is pretty much the polar-opposite of how most people are being conditioned to approach problems.
But what if the people who are all outraged and dramatic don't actually want the problem solved....
ReplyDelete"...then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. " That is, broom them out of your life.
DeleteHow such a simple and accurate resolution has been discarded is a mystery.
ReplyDeleteOh no, that's not right. It really ISN'T a mystery, is it?
It is the outraged and drama-soaked female brains that have been empowered since about 1970 that solves the puzzle - visit your average city council meeting, or any HR department for a quick lesson.
ERJ - This is something that literally (this week) put itself back into my consciousness, mostly because I find that the more I would read any sort of social media update or listen to a Youtube video which involves some kind of controversy, I get agitated even thought I am not involved. It was to the point that it was seriously impacting my mood. The only resolution I have for myself is to simply abstain from all such things. Informational, historical, specific skill related - yes. Conversations on the modern situation, not so much.
ReplyDeleteBesides the dopamine hits from views or likes, it gives one a sense of power to "tell it like it is to the man" (whoever "the man" may be). Resolving issues does not involve that same sense of empowerment, which is another reason I suspect it is The Road Less Taken.
Many years ago I decided to just be me and quit caring what other people think. I became much happier and satisfied with life.
ReplyDeleteI don't do social media. The closest thing is a now dormant LinkedIn account I got while job hunting about ten years ago. A friend talked me into it. I do comment on blogs and a couple of forums, but really don't care if it gets "likes" or whatever. I'm just me. Accept me for who I am, or leave me alone. My happiness does not depend on what others think of me.
100%!
DeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteMF